Praying for Rain

     Most of us are familiar with the story of Elijah and Mount Carmel. Something pretty spectacular happened on that mountain. God showed up and Baal did not. Of course, we as Christians knew that Baal would not show up…he’s not real. He was merely a god made by man. What is truly interesting is why the people of Israel and Elijah were even on Mount Carmel in the first place. Not so much as to the why all of the others were. (Yes, it is important but not the highlight at this particular moment.) They thought Elijah was about to pray for rain to return since the last time they had seen him. It was then that he had announced: “As the LORD God of Israel lives, in whose presence I stand, there will be no dew or rain during these years except by my command!” (I Kings 17:1 CSB). And you know what? There wasn’t. No rain for any purpose or for any person. No rain at all. Zilch, nothing, zero. Not even a mist!!  

     As human beings, we have experienced a drought before. I can’t recall one lasting for three and a half years like in the day of Elijah (James 5:17). That had to be hard for their very existence. We’ve had times when we were told to conserve our water usage. (Or maybe that was just from my momma as we were growing up?) I don’t remember ever being afraid of our water supply running out. Every time we turned on a water faucet we received the results expected...water! However, in Elijah’s day that particular fear was real. That need was quickly drying up. 

     Although I may not quite understand the need the Israelites had concerning rain and the need for water, I certainly understand feeling a personal drought. I imagine most people do. My soul has felt that before. I even imagined tumble-weeds rolling past me just like they did in the old west when they needed rain. You know those old movies. Right smack in the middle of town tumble-weeds would roll right on past them as they walked those dry dirty streets. Their clothes had to be filled with dusty dirt. Yep, I have felt that before. I was so desperate for spiritual rain. Little did I know that it was more than just God’s rain I needed. I likened His rain to His power. It is but it is more than that. It wasn’t so much His rain, His power, that I needed…it was God Himself. I needed His Holy Spirit so desperately to rain down on me. (You know what I mean?) His power was certainly a benefit to His very presence. I knew that I needed Him. Oh I wanted Him too but I needed Him because I wanted Him. (Does that make sense?) 

     The great thing about that is that God wanted me to want Him first. It would be then that He could satisfy my need for Him. It would be then that the rain would come…a good soaking rain at that! 

"In a little while, the sky grew dark with clouds and wind, and there was a downpour."

1 Kings 18:45a CSB

In awe of Him,

Vonda

When No One Is Looking ~ The War Between Strength and Weakness

We are at our most vulnerable when no one is looking. Left to ourselves two emotions can wage war with each other, both with the intent to win. One emotion walks in strength with the knowledge of knowing and believing to whom they belong. The other emotion, crumbled in fear, leaves walking at all seeming next to impossible.  

This is where I find myself, at war with two emotions.

There are times that certain situations can leave me feeling fearful. They can cripple me leaving me with no strength at all. Yet, there are also times that those same situations can strengthen me giving me courage I did not know I had. It sounds weird, I know, but it is true. When it comes to my husband’s well-being, my heart intends to be strong and sometimes it is. In fact, it can be surprisingly strong. Yet, there are times that my heart has no strength at all. Persevering seems impossible. Strength wants to prevail but weakness has become consuming. And then, the war begins…

Caring for a loved one can be hard, both physically and emotionally. It can feel as if it rips out your very heart. How do you handle it? How are you supposed to put on a brave face for them? Better yet, how are we supposed to live in this, our day to day, together? So many emotions begin to stir. Questioning your ability to do the right thing at that exact moment needed most leaves you crippled. It is not only doing the right thing but also being the right one to do it. I am not a physician. I do not work in the medical field of any form or fashion. Yet, I find myself playing the role of one. Can I do the right thing? Will I do the right thing? Am I the right one to do the right thing? What even is the right thing!? So many questions stir in my mind.

The hardest moments are the ones that cripple you. Sometimes I can put on a brave face and do what has to be done. Well, in fact, most of the time I can. However, when no one is looking is when I simply crumble. Feeling weak during a fight does not give me much hope for winning. I want to always stand tall and firmly say, “Not today, Satan!” The words just do not always come out. I want my foot so firmly planted that I cannot be knocked down. That is so what my heart desires. However, each time a new problem pops up without an explanation to it, I lose my footing. I see the pain and know there has to be an answer. Yet, one is not given. Tears flow uncontrollably and I cannot seem to find the strength to stop them. Honestly, at times I do not want to. I cannot lose control so I allow my tears to do so. If I lose control then what will happen? The last thing I want is for a loved one to feel any sort of responsibility, cause or blame for my tears. Do not get me wrong, I have found myself crumbled on the floor before … in a pool of snot and tears (I know gross, right?)! It does not happen often (thank You Lord!) but it still happens. After all, I am human. It is when I am alone and no one is looking that I allow myself the freedom to feel; no matter what that feeling may be. Convincing myself that “I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength” (Philippians 4:13) because God’s Word says I can is not always believable. They can feel like mere empty words; words simply written on paper. My heart knows they are not yet it does not have the strength to convince my mind.   

Some days are really good days. In fact, most of them have been. (Maybe that is just a part of what makes the not-so-good days extra bad.) When those good days happen, is when I am at my strongest. I feel like I can conquer anything. I feel like I can do and be anything. A wound that needs attention? Bring it on! Extra care needed? Bring it on!  That is when I can emotionally stand and proclaim, “I CAN do all things through Christ who gives me strength” (Philippians 4:13)! I love those days. I cherish those days. However, if not careful I can easily turn those moments into giving my own self the praise.  (OUCH!) It is God who gives me strength…never myself.

Granted, very few people see those moments in me. They are mostly reserved when no one is looking. Part of the reason, not all of it, is because I do not want Satan to see or hear it and come at me harder, stronger. I want to revel in those strong moments and enjoy them to their fullest! (Sounds wimpy, doesn’t it?) I suppose I allow fear to slip into the strong days in wondering how long they will last. I do not want to mislead you; I can live out some strength (from God) in front of people, too. I can stand firm and not waver in His Word and fully rely on it! I know beyond any doubt that it is His strength … not mine.

Sometimes I live the strong moments quietly because it is then that I “refuel” or better yet, store up extra “fuel”, so to speak. Strength and comfort found in God’s Word is what I need daily. His Word gives me strength to finish the task at hand. His Word comforts me by reminding me that I am never alone; He is with me all the way. His Word drowns out the little voices that desire for my attention to fear again. Yep, His Word is definitely my fuel. It's what will keep me going.

I know that trials are going to come the Bible says so. I know that everything happens for a reason; the Bible says that, too. I truly know and believe that. The hard part is that even though I know those things, it just does not stop the pain. It does not change what my eyes see. I see the pain of a loved one. I see the crippling effects on their body. I see those things! How am I supposed to un-see them? (Do you ever find yourself asking that question, too?)

Proverbs 3:5> “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding.” (NKJV)

That is my answer. It’s neatly tucked inside God’s Word awaiting me to find and read it again. Over and over if necessary. It’s the fuel we need. His desire is for me, for us, to simply trust Him in the process. It can sure be hard. However, if you truly know and believe that God is indeed a good God, then we do not lean on our own understanding. Let’s be honest, our understanding is limited. We tend to have a need to see a bigger picture to understand difficult things. We don’t always get that privilege. God is all-knowing, we are not. Trusting the all-knowing God is our responsibility. Yet, we find it hard at times. Weird, isn’t it? We don’t find it hard to believe that He created the world. We know and believe that God sent His only Son to this earth to pay our sin-debt. We know and believe that He died a gruesome death, no heart beat or breath in His lungs, on a cross, and yet He defeated the grave. We truly believe these things. Somehow, believing that He has a plan for me, for us, seems too complicated to comprehend. Did not Jesus Himself say “With men this is impossible; but with God all things are possible” (Matthew 19:26)? Yes! He certainly did! He takes the hardest things to understand and makes it possible. We just aren’t guaranteed when we may understand.  

We have to learn to look beyond what our physical eyes can see. We have to see that “all things work together for the good of those who love God: those who are called according to His purpose” (Romans 8:28) is for us, too. Suffering in this life is inevitable; how we suffer is a choice. “It is what it is” is not always true. It depends on how you look at it, what you choose to see…and believe.

It's okay to wage the war between strength and weakness. It’s even okay to do it when no one is looking. Cling to God and His holy Word and know that it is written: “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future” (Jeremiah 29:11). No matter how difficult things become, He is with us. We are not alone…😊

Don’t forget to remember that!

In awe of Him,

~ Vonda

Seeing Beyond What Is

Romans 8:28> We know that all things work together for the good of those who love God: those who are called according to His purpose. (HCSB)

     There were so many expectations for the year of 2019. I’d had plans without really having any in particular for the New Year. All I knew was that it would certainly be better. Don’t get me wrong, the year 2018 wasn’t disappointing, but I just knew that it could certainly be topped! Boy was it. It started out with a bang!

     The 2019 year began with the flu. (I know, yuck!) It also ended with it, too. There were things tucked in between as well. A “good” case of cellulitis landed me in the hospital for a few days (I thought it was an antibiotic rash.). I gathered from the doctor and nurses that “good” really did not mean that at all. Anything that lands you in the hospital rarely is. However, I did get a break in time before anything else would catch my attention. Looking back on that makes me grateful for a little more time.

     One afternoon coming home from work, I was involved in a car accident. It happened to me (not my fault) I did not cause it. Thankfully, the young girl involved and I both got out of our own cars. We both walked around and were able to speak. There were no broken bones and no bloody scene. I thank God for that! I will not dwell on what could have been I will praise Him for what was. She took a very big hit from her steering wheel and I took a very big hit from the back of my seat. There is no doubt she physically ended up with a few issues from it. I know I did, and am still dealing with them. That does not change the fact that God showed up in a mighty way!

      I had sat and cried over the way the year had been going so far. It had begun to take a toll on me mentally. I don’t think it was common knowledge. I think I hid it very well. (A few people knew, and I do mean a few.) A person can slap a smile on their face and even proclaim Jesus without ever allowing Him to be in their situation. At least for a time they can. However, when you truly know Jesus, His peace will begin to flood your very being. I knew better than to question Why me? The answer will always be, why not me! Yet, that is what I did…why me, Lord? The smile remained on my face even when it was the hardest but my heart was not always in it. I wanted to be the Christian that people saw as strong. I have learned that if they do not see you at your weakest at times too, then they find it hard to believe you can be real. We do not set out to deceive others intentionally but it is what sort of happens. No one wants to be real with someone that does not themselves appear to be.

     After using up all of my sick time and a majority of my vacation time at work, I really felt down in the dumps. I used those up halfway through the year. However, the closer 2019 came to an end, I began to see beyond what is. “It is what it is” is not always true. It depends on how you look at it, what you choose to see. I decided to sit back and take a different look. Not only did I want to see beyond what it is, I needed to as well.      

     Although having the flu in January, when you work for a propane company, is not the best time (well, having the flu never is!) it did allow me to rest from a crazy holiday season. It also allowed me time to appreciate my job more. Time spent in the hospital gave me an opportunity to meet a few people who worked there. Some were in the medical field and some were not. The conversations were priceless; even those late at night or extreme early morning conversations. I never imagined being able to laugh so hard when you are the one who is the patient!  

    I have to admit it had been my car accident that had played the biggest toll on me mentally, physically and yes, spiritually. I was able to get over the flu, both times, and bounced back from my stay in the hospital. However, the car accident issues were the ones that lasted the longest. They are still with me to a degree. This struggle has been the most real. This one I truly needed God to help me see how it could "work together for the good”. He knew I would and waited patiently for me to ask Him. (Isn’t God good? His timing is everything!)

     I ended up having to see a chiropractor. He was able to pinpoint an issue I was having. He was a miracle-worker for me! Through several months of visits, Raymond and I had gotten to know a few of them very well. I was learning the “all things work together for the good…” part and it was changing me. Meeting the people there was such a joy. They were like family to us. We shared sadness and joy, and even asked for prayer multiple times. I looked forward to every appointment! Raymond surely did not mind going with me. This group of people not only played a part of my physical well-being, they also played a part of my emotional, and spiritual well-being, too. My heart had definitely been affected. I was blessed by going there. Satan certainly did not know I would be; however, God sure did. He is such a good God!

     My last visit with the chiropractor was bitter-sweet. I wasn’t ready to say good-bye, yet I physically felt much better. I did not want to leave them. We all hugged and expressed how grateful we were that our paths had indeed crossed. I was certainly never going to forget them. Neither was Raymond. God knows exactly what we need and when we need it most. They each played an important role in my healing; not just physically either.

In awe of Him,

Vonda

      

    

 

I Am Not Alone

John 16:32> “Indeed, the hour is coming, yes, has now come, that you will be scattered, each to his own, and will leave Me alone. And yet I am not alone, because the Father is with Me.” (NKJV)


     It has been hard for me to understand what it is like for those who are alone during this pandemic. I still am able to get up and go to work Monday thru Friday. I see my coworkers and the few customers that need to come by. I interact with people outside of my home. However, there are those right now who are unable to do so. Never did they imagine that confinement to their home would be a new way of life. The difficulty that I do feel during this time is the inability to see and hug my children and grandchildren. I may be able to see them, but certainly not in the way I would like to. I want to see them with my hands and arms!

     Our daughter and grandchildren came by the other day. What a joy it was to see them! At first, I was frustrated because it had to be different. I could not hug my daughter or granddaughters. (I am a hugger so that was a problem. I do not do so well with change.) We all sat outside with a good distance apart. I had not sat that far from anyone since elementary school. And that was because we thought they had cooties! (Does anybody remember the old saying: “circle, circle, dot, dot, now I have my cooties shot”? Oh the stuff we said as kids!) Now, I know no one had cooties at my house but that is exactly what it felt like! It totally frustrated me. I could feel anger welling up inside me because “it-is-what-it-is” was something that I did not like…at all! I knew they would soon be leaving; five o’clock was approaching. They were going back to their home and we would be staying at ours. There would be no staying over for dinner and no staying longer to watch a movie. There would be no last minute decision of getting to spend the night. (Did I tell you that I do not like change? UGH!!)

     It was not until they left that I realized just how blessed we were. So many people have not been able just to see loved ones at all. At least we got to, even from six feet away. I needed to count my blessings.

     Although we may not have realized that it would get to this point of being alone, Jesus knew that He would. It did not come as a surprise to Him. There was no pandemic, no COVID-19 lurking around the corner to take His life. He knew there would come a time that He would stand alone before men who were eagerly searching for a reason to take His life. Yet, He also knew He would not be alone. The Father would be with Him.


John 16:32> “Indeed, the hour is coming, yes, has now come, that you will be scattered, each to his own, and will leave Me alone. And yet I am not alone, because the Father is with Me.” (NKJV)


     During this unsettling time, let us remember that we, too, are not alone. The Father is with us, as well.



In awe of Him,

Vonda

An Example from the Wise Men

Every year, the focus of Christmas changes for me, it has a deeper meaning. I love that! It means God’s Word is not old and worn out. It means there is always something new found in the same verses we read every Christmas.  This Christmas, God used the wise men to stir in my heart a much deeper meaning.



Matthew 2:1-2, 11> Now after Jesus was born in Bethlehem of Judea in the days of Herod the king, behold, wise men from the east came to Jerusalem, saying “Where is He who has been born king of the Jews? For we saw His star when it rose and have come to worship Him.” … And going into the house, they saw the child with Mary His mother, and they fell down and worshiped Him. Then, opening their treasures, they offered Him gifts, gold and frankincense and myrrh. (ESV)  (I have capitalized the first letter in any name pertaining to Jesus.)



I always found a reason to give gifts in these verses. The Wise Men were my example. After all, they presented gifts to Jesus. They went to Joseph and Mary’s with the intent to take gifts to Him. Isn’t that what we do? We travel to our family, or perhaps we are the ones who host, and give gifts? Most especially for the children. Do not get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with it. I personally find joy in that! However, this year the focus has shifted. I saw in the verses something different and for the very first time. It was what the Wise Men gave Jesus and where it came from that convicted me.



Following a star, the Wise Men traveled a long way to see the king of the Jews. They stopped in Jerusalem to ask for directions. Herod the king got those from the chief priests and scribes and gave them to the men. He told them to come back and let him know where the king of the Jews was so he, too, could go worship Him. (Well, we all know that was garbage. He had no intent of doing that!) So, off the Wise Men went to find Jesus.



Because they were seeking Him, they found Him (Jeremiah 29:13), with a star leading the way. When they saw where the star came to rest, they rejoiced! They had found Him. It is what they did next that got me: “they saw the child…and fell down and worshiped Him. Then, opening their treasures, they offered Him gifts…



Y’all, that absolutely gets me. After intentionally seeking Him, they found Him. Their intent had been to worship Him. They even told Herod that is what they were going to do. Being in the presence of Jesus could only make you worship Him. The Wise Men opened their treasures and offered their gifts to Him. The gifts given were valuable, costly. They knew that but never debated giving them to the king of the Jews. That, too, was intentional. That was the lesson for me. Have I opened my treasures and offered them to Jesus? What are my treasures? Jesus is pretty clear on what treasures are considered: ‘’For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” (Matthew 6:21) OUCH!



The Wise Men gave Jesus gifts from their heart. After all, they were very wise men!



Where is your/my treasure this Christmas? Are you, am I, willing to offer it, them to Jesus?



In awe of Him,

~Vonda

The Sin of Neglect

My momma was a single parent. She worked a lot. Therefore, we were at home alone a lot. In the beginning, she told us what we needed to do around the house. Then it became what we had to do. After that, it was clear what was expected. There were consequences if we did not do what was expected. Those consequences were not fun. We had heard what she said, countless times, but we had stopped doing them. If the consequence did not come right away, we felt as if somehow we had gotten away with it. Well let me tell you that was far from the truth! We had not gotten away with anything; the consequences were simply delayed.



James 1:22> “But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves.”



We tend to treat God the same way. We have lost the fact that He is our heavenly Father. You would think we would treat Him different because of that. We treat Him with the same, or sometimes less, respect than we do an earthly parent. Is it because our disobedience has not been dealt with right away? How many times do we have to be told? Absolutely, God is a God of love. His mercies are new every day. He is forgiving, He is compassionate, and I am so thankful for that. However, how long am I, are we, going to sit back and “hear” what He says and yet not do it? How long are we going to pretend there are no consequences?  None of us are perfect, His Word is very clear on that. However, it does not excuse us to sit back and do nothing. It does not excuse us to continue in our own sin…knowingly.



We misuse what Jesus meant in Matthew 22:39 when He said, “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” He did not mean the kind of love that tickles your fancy; the kind that grants yourself everything you want. Some of those are fleshly desires that we should be at war with! We can mean well with loving our neighbor as ourselves, but if we are not careful, we can actually love them into hell. We are supposed to tell them, and show them by our actions, who Jesus is and what His Word says. If we do not, we are hearers of the word only and not doers. Folks, I am guilty! If I were in a courtroom right now and tried to plead my case, I would be found guilty. The idea of telling or showing a loved one what the Bible says is truth does not always appeal to me. Quite honestly, some of them simply do not want to hear it. What if they never speak to me again? What if they dread being around me? What if…? I should be more concerned about their soul than I am about their wanting to be around me. It is hard I do not deny that. However, isn’t their soul a lot more important? It should be.



We cannot just tell people about a loving God. We have to tell them about His Sovereignty, His meaning-what-He-says. We can tell someone what we will do if they do not do what they are asked or told to do. We can easily not follow through. God is not like that. He will do what He says He will do. That should make us tremble. (Hebrews 10:31> “It is a fearful thing to fall into the hands of the living God.”) Do we, do I, believe that? We can all tend to rely on His love being the sappy kind of love that we have at times yet do not consider His love as a tough love, also. The love He has for us is a tough love. After all, He did give His only Son to die for us (John 3:16). That sounds like tough love to me, not the sappy kind.



When we know to do good and do not do it, it is called sin (James 4:17). It does not just mean the kind that are obvious (sexual immorality, drunkenness, debauchery, homosexuality, etc.), it also means the ones we know about yet others may not see. (Example: 1- not taking care of those in need when you have the means to do so. 2- not telling someone about Jesus when the Holy Spirit is nudging you to. 3- being honest on what His Word says when directly asked.) When we neglect (ignore or disregard) to do what we know we are to do it is sin. Ignoring or disregarding the truth does not change its meaning.



People, Christians included, do not like the word sin anymore. It makes them, us, sound bad. They would rather use the words mistake or accident. No doubt, a mistake can simply be that…a mistake! Even an accident can just be an accident, things that were not intended or on purpose. However, those words are often in use to cover up a known guilt or sin. Sometimes the phrase "life-style choice" will be in use to butter-up the word sin. We often hear the phrase, “This is who I am.” The truth is we can call it whatever we want to, or use it in any way we want to, to make us feel better. Nevertheless, what God calls it is what is important. That is the only thing that matters.



Just like my momma wanted us to do what we had heard her tell us to do, so does God. So y’all, let’s “be doers of the Word and not hearers only”, the lost are depending on us … so is God.




In awe of Him,

Vonda

Monday Meditation ~ When Troubles Come

Happy Monday!

Here we are in the last week of October. Another month has come and gone. They seem to be going by faster now that I am older. Time is just slipping on by. A lot has happened this month. Some things have been really good; some things have been just okay, and some, well not so good. I was caught unaware, but God surely wasn’t. I find comfort in that. The troubles we face in life have purpose. Knowing that should give us joy. That means they’re not random. That means there’s something greater that will come from them. (That gives me goosebumps!)

James 1:2-3> “Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your *endurance has a chance to grow.” (NLT)  (*Note: patience, perseverance, steadfastness)

Endurance. Patience. Perseverance. Steadfastness. Something we as Christians need, however, we’re just not very keen on how we get it. At least I’m not. It’s hard to comprehend how an opportunity for joy can come from trouble. Yet it does. For years, I pretended to have joy during hard times simply because God’s Word said to. Therefore, I manufactured my own joy. I said I had it when I really didn’t. The outside looked joyful. I even spoke joyful words. However, on the inside, where it really mattered, my joy was fake. I thought if I pretended hard enough that real joy would come. It did not. Why in the world would I consider that an opportunity for joy would come from troubles? Furthermore, how was I supposed to do that? It didn’t make any sense to me at all. I had missed what the reason was.

Troubles and trials will come. That’s a given. The interesting thing about them is that God uses them to help us grow. That’s the opposite reason of why Satan uses them. He uses them to capture us, enslave us and to destroy us. Not God! Nope, He does what seems crazy to the world. He uses troubles and trials as a means to set us free. They grow us to be more like Him. If I don’t learn how to endure, to be patient, to persevere, or to be steadfast then I won’t make it during those challenging times. Clinging to the knowledge of knowing that Jesus is with me, walking with me, and standing beside me in whatever “furnace” I may face should give me joy. You know what? It does. It even makes me smile. That was not the result Satan was hoping to get. Way to go God!

In those difficult times, stop and praise God for loving you enough to help you grow. “Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy.” (Why should I do that?) “For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow.”  

In awe of Him,
Vonda

Facing the Furnace

Daniel 3:18> “But even if He does not rescue us, we want you as king to know that we will not serve your gods or worship the gold statue you set up.” (CSB)



Most of us are familiar with the story of Shadrach, Meshach, Abednego and the fiery furnace. It mesmerized us. It seemed unbelievable, yet it happened. Felt boards have been used in Sunday school classes to retell the story.  Sermons have been preached regarding these three men. Their story has certainly been popular. It’s one of those “only God” moments that appear all throughout Scripture. When you see them, you definitely need to focus on them.



As a child, I read it without a whole lot of thought regarding their situation. The fire is what caught my attention. I have to be honest with you; I’ve read it as an adult that way, too! I focused on the furnace and Jesus being in there with them. Don’t get me wrong; nothing was wrong with that whatsoever. I mean my goodness, even in our ‘furnace’ moments Jesus is still with us. That is wonderful! Who doesn’t need to hear that and know it? Nevertheless, knowing what got the three amigos there is important to remember, too.



King Nebuchadnezzar had a gold statue made that was ninety feet tall and nine feet wide. You couldn’t have missed it! His intent was for it to be worshiped by everyone. At the dedication of this statue, a herald loudly proclaimed that the sound of music would be their que to bow down and worship this statue. If they did not, they would “immediately be thrown into a furnace of blazing fire” (verse 7). Not after a court hearing, not after giving it a little thought, and not after preparation, but immediately! Furthermore, not just any kind of fire would do. It had to be a blazing fire! A rip-roaring fire! That bad-boy had to be H-O-T! If anything would deter someone from disobeying such a command surely that would do it. Only a crazy person would disobey. Right?



Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego were the disobedient ones. It was not because they were crazy, either. These three amigos were committed to God. There was no other god and these three knew it. They’d heard the command; they knew the consequence of disobedience. There had not been a reason to doubt the king. They knew he was serious. However, it was a risk they were willing to take. To bow down and worship something, or someone, other than God was unimaginable. They were willing to face the furnace of blazing fire.



How many of us today are willing to do what Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego did? How many of us today are willing to stand for our convictions? It is true that some have. They would not go against God. Their very lives were taken because of such a conviction. Not just in death either, but also in life. With reputations ruined and businesses closed, they, too, knew the consequence of standing firm. Nevertheless, just like the three amigos, they still would not deter from their conviction. There was/is only ONE GOD and that was that! To say or act otherwise was unimaginable.



Things at work are a little challenging right now. I guess the question to myself is am I going to join in on the bandwagon of uncertainty and fear, or am I going to stand firm knowing that God is God and He has got it? Am I going to stand firm in knowing that God is God and this situation is not? Am I going to say one thing, yet act another? Truth be known, I played a big part in the uncertainty wagon. I probably led the revolt of fear. If I didn’t lead it, I was still part of it. I should have stood firm and said no. I should have been an example of not bowing down and worshiping uncertainty. However, today is a new day! I can stand firm and say no to the king of uncertainty, and say yes to the King of Kings!



Are you facing a furnace? What are you, am I, going to do? Fall prey or stand firm?



In awe of Him,

~Vonda





  

It Takes Strength to Be Silent

Psalm 141:3> “Set a guard over my mouth, LORD; keep watch over the door of my lips.” (NIV)

Oh no they didn’t! They just said and/or did something that totally ticked you off! Coming back with a snide remark is on the tip of your tongue; you can almost taste it. You want to put your two cents in, expose them and shut them up. They are not going to get away with what they said and/or did. It hurt. It cut deep. It was humiliating. Your quick response may be to get even. To make them feel just like they made you feel. Wouldn’t that be the fair thing to do?

  
I have put my two-cents in before. My intention was to hurt them like they hurt me. I would like to say what Paul said, “I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.” (Romans 7:15 ESV) The problem is, at that time I knew exactly what I was doing and even wanted to. (My head is hanging low now, yes, I am ashamed.) At that moment, I knew exactly what I was doing. Furthermore, I didn’t hate it either. Well, at least not right then. I wanted to strike back and I did. However, one thing is for sure, I did regret it. It sickened me. As a child of God, I knew better. I truly wish I had never retaliated. I was very thankful for the conviction. Even more thankful for the chance to repent and seek forgiveness.  


There has also been a time when I could not retaliate. It wasn’t because I didn’t want to. I wanted to! However, there was a deep stirring inside me. The Holy Spirit was at work. I wanted to open my mouth and dish it back but it wouldn’t come. Instead, reminders of Jesus mocked, beaten, and spat upon came. He had done nothing wrong. He had said nothing wrong. He could have whipped every one of them with His tongue without ever laying a hand on them. Instead, He was silent. Oh, the strength it took to be silent. I desire that strength. Am I the only one? Thank You, Holy Spirit, for continuing to work in me...



In awe of Him,

Vonda

The First Day

Another month is under our belts as we begin a new one. They seem to be going by quicker than I can keep up with. If only time would slow down just a tad so that I can catch up. Then again, more time would not make a difference. No matter how much time I do have, it will probably never feel like enough.



Genesis 1:3-5> Then God said, “Let there be light,” and there was light. And God saw that the light was good. Then He separated the light from the darkness. God called the light “day” and the darkness “night”. And evening passed and morning came, marking the first day. (NLT)



Time has always felt like an issue for me. I either don’t have enough, have too much, or it is just right. I have to be honest; rarely do I feel like it is just right. It is not often that I feel like I have too much, either. Well, according to the verses above, it is just right. After all, God did create it. It is certainly not His fault if I try to cram too much in a day. I cannot blame time for that.



When our gracious God created day, He knew it was enough. He knew what we would need, no matter the season. Night would end and day would come just like planned. It is hard to keep in mind that all of those years ago He knew today would come. He knew that we would overfill our days or perhaps not put enough in them. He knew all of that from the beginning.



Trusting God’s creation of time in a day had never crossed my mind. At least, not the way explained in the first few verses of the book of Genesis. He knew exactly how much day light I was going to need. I do tend to forget that even when it comes to time, God is still all knowing. His ways are perfect. His creation is perfect.



Darkness had always been there, the light had not. So, He created just what we would need.  



In awe of Him,

Vonda

The Last Fifty

There is a story in the Bible that has new meaning for me, one I have overlooked many times. It is a very familiar story. It is the story of Jesus feeding 5,000 men. (More were there counting women and children.) I love that story. I love how even though the disciples did not know how it was going to work out, it did not deter Jesus! I even love how it affected the last group of fifty.



Luke 9:14b-15> “Jesus replied, ‘Tell them to sit down in groups of about 50 each.’ So the people all sat down. (NLT)



Imagine being with Jesus all day. You have listened to Him speak about the kingdom of God. You have seen people cured that were in need of healing. You have heard things and seen things that blew you away! It has been a great day, certainly one you will never forget. One thing is for sure, you are not leaving. You have seen too much and heard too much to leave now. (I wonder if they were experiencing our modern day Fear-Of-Missing-Out.) This Man is different. This Man has touched your heart. You certainly want more. Who could blame you? No one else is leaving either.



After speaking with Jesus, the twelve men who are normally with Him, He calls disciples, have a strange look on their face. Something said seems to be a little confusing to them. Except for Jesus, He has a look of peace on His face. The twelve begin to move through the crowd. You have heard there is not enough food. You have heard someone had five loaves of bread and only two fish. You have even seen for yourself how large the crowd is. Yet, you have been included in a group of about fifty and told to sit down. All eyes are forward on Jesus. He took the five loaves of bread along with the two fish, and He looked toward heaven and blessed them.



Imagine being in the last group of about fifty. Curiosity would be all over me! Curious as to what was about to happen. The anticipation of another miracle would certainly be in my thoughts: “What is He going to do? How is He going to feed us? I am so excited to be a part!” At least, that is how I would feel … at first. What would I feel after a few hours have passed? What would my thoughts be then? Whenever I read this story in the past, I never considered how long it must have taken the disciples to pass out food. After all, there is not much space between verses 14 and 17. It was a quick read so it had to have been a quick food delivery, right? My goodness, even I know feeding a large group of people at family reunions, or Homecoming, takes a lot of time, why would I think this would be any different? And we never had 5,000 or more people attend!



Time seems to be passing very slowly. Most especially if you are in the last group. Have you lost hope that you will receive a blessing? Does it appear as if you are going to miss out? I am sad to say, that I would probably be that one who is afraid of missing a blessing. I have seen others receive one; surely, by the time the basket gets to me it will be empty. It was just five loaves of bread and two fish after all. Even I can do the math. Discouragement would settle on me. There is not going to be enough. Why am I in the last group of about fifty? I cannot look at the others in my group. I cannot see their despair. If they are still hopeful while I am not, I certainly do not want to see that either!



I heard something. Was it a sigh of sadness? Was it gratitude and thankfulness? I look up to see the same twelve men still passing out food! Their baskets are not empty! Their faces have changed from confusion to elation! I even notice a little-pep-in-their-step!  What just happened? As for Jesus’ face, He is still at peace. He knew what He was going to do. He knew that even the last group of fifty, the group I was in, would need food, too. He knew He was going to provide it. It is hard to imagine all the blessings received that day! Not only was it bread and fish provided, the nourishment received was so much more. Hope had been restored.



Luke 9:17> They all ate as much as they wanted, and afterward, the disciples picked up twelve baskets of leftovers! (NLT)



What is my take away from this new story written in my heart? It is simple. No matter which groups you feel like you are in, the first fifty to receive or the last fifty losing hope, Jesus cares. He still sees you and graciously cares for you. He will see to it that with Him you will find nourishment.

 

In awe of Him,

Vonda

Sleep Walking

Genesis 28:16> Then Jacob awoke from his sleep and said, “Surely the LORD is in this place, and I wasn’t even aware of it!”



     I am not one who physically walks in my sleep. I know that some do but I just never have. (At least, no one has ever told me I do!) However, numerous times I have … spiritually. No one told me I did; I discovered it on my own. That was hard to swallow and yet very freeing. You know what I mean? Hard to swallow because it was true yet freeing because I could confess and repent.

     I had fallen asleep to the needs around me. I had fallen asleep to the fact that God is all-seeing and He is all-knowing. Somehow, I had forgotten that fact. I had become too comfortable with my own life that I had grown complacent in it. I could go down the laundry detergent aisle at the grocery store, not think about Him being there, and miss an opportunity to share Him. I could be in line waiting to check out, someone break in front of me and forget He was also there and reading my thoughts, too. I can be with friends and/or families having a great time enjoying the moment and yet still forget He is there. I was sleep walking, so to speak, right through my days. Obviously, I did not want to wake up because I kept hitting the snooze button countless times.  Waking up would involve doing something. Waking up would involve living aware in His presence. Waking up would involve simply not being asleep.

     Finally an alarm clock, as Jonathan Cahn (a Jewish Messianic Rabbi) put it, went off that awakened me, a sound that hitting the snooze button would not have stopped. I was stunned at how long I must have been asleep. I was stunned at the missed opportunities to share Him. I was stunned at how long I had not been awake in His presence. Nevertheless, I was so grateful for the sounding alarm. I felt like Jacob waking up from sleep and saying, “Surely the LORD is in this place, and I wasn’t even aware of it!”     


     *** Heavenly Father, I am so ashamed that it has taken several snoozes to wake me up. But Lord, I am so grateful that it did! When I fall asleep again, Father, I pray that the sound be so invasive that it intrudes my dreams and awakens me from slumber. Forgive me for the countless times that I was spiritually sleep walking. I do not want to miss being awake in Your presence. I do not want to miss dwelling in You. I do not want to miss opportunities to share You. Thank You, Father, for the alarm clock that wakes me up spiritually. ~ Amen



In awe of Him,

Vonda



   

A Pesky Fly and An Open Door

Proverbs 4:23> “Guard your heart above all else, for it is the source of life.” (HCSB) 

One morning, while getting ready for work, a fly was in the bathroom with me. It had laid dormant waiting for the right time to attack. Once time was found, the fly came out of hiding dodging my head and swooping down knowing I was unable to end its life! It kept flying close to my face taunting me. (I even think I heard it laugh!) Dr. David Jeremiah was on the radio delivering a message I knew I would need. I could not hear a thing he said because of that pesky fly. I was sidetracked on the irritation in the room with me. I even opened the bathroom door hoping it would fly out. No matter how wide the door was open, the fly did not intend to leave. It had found its victim and seemed to be winning the battle. Why should it leave? 

That’s just like Satan. If the door of your heart is left open the tiniest bit, he will find a way in. He will lay dormant at first, so he does not bring attention to himself. He will find the perfect opportunity to catch you unaware. He will sidetrack you by attacking you with his dodging, swooping, and taunting. He will make sure your day is a mess with him, or his ugly deeds, on your mind. Beginning a day with an irritation is hard to shake off. At least, it is for me. It can pour into my day and onto those, I work with. (Sad, isn’t it?) The best solution for dealing with Satan is to keep THE spiritual fly swatter (God's Word) readily available. 

Later, my husband told me that I should have kept the bathroom door closed and simply killed the fly. Instead, I opened the door in hopes that it would fly away and leave me alone. I wanted it to bother someone else. Yikes! I could not see how bad my choice really was. If I had killed it, no one else in the house would have had to deal with it. If only I had gotten a fly swatter or “snapped” a washrag and ended its pesky life! If only I had done, whatever it would have taken. 

So what did I learn? #1) Pay attention to doors left open, even if it is a tiny bit! A pesky fly (or flies) can always find a way in. #2) Keep a fly swatter (God’s Word) handy. You never know when you will need it! 😊



In awe of Him,

Vonda

Immeasurably More

Thank You, Lord, for getting us through another week! I don’t know about y’all but last week was a doozy! I do not have a clue what this next week brings but I know the One who has it under control and is able to do immeasurably more than I can imagine.

Ephesians 3:20a> “Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine…” (NIV Life Application Study Bible)

Those two words stopped me in my “thought” tracks, immeasurably more. As I read them again-and-again, they began to sink in. Merriam-Webster Dictionary describes immeasurably more as being “impossible to measure, very great in size or amount”. Y’all, we cannot begin to imagine what God can truly do! I am so limited in what I can do. Even on my very best days, I am still limited. The best doctors worldwide are limited in their capabilities, as well. Without God’s hand on us, we can do nothing in our own strength. Anything extraordinary that we can do is simply because of God Himself.

Now God, well, He’s a different story. Mainly because He is not like us. He's...well...GOD! He does immeasurably more than we can comprehend. We cannot come close to imagining everything He can do. Just when I think I have Him a little figured out, He does something that causes me to sit in awe and wonder. A very dear friend once said: “He just cracks me up!” I agree with her, as I’m guessing those reading this agree with her, too. I can never begin to imagine all that God can truly do. It’s immeasurable!

When we stand before Him one day, we will meet the One who did immeasurably more than we ever asked or imagined. The lives that have been changed, marriages and/or relationships restored, healing when doctors said it was risky and/or hopeless, and even the dread of Monday’s (yes, even that, too!) being replaced with anticipation. Thank goodness, we will have a new body. Because this earthly body with this earthly heart just would not be able to handle it!   

Are you or someone you love facing something difficult? Just remember that God “is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine”!

In awe of Him,

Vonda

Good Intentions Gone Wrong

Mark 14:29> “Peter told Him, “Even if everyone runs away, I will certainly not!”

     The more I read about Peter the more I can relate to him. His heart seems to be in the right place yet, he does not always follow through. He has good intentions that end up going wrong. He means well but…. (OUCH!)
     When Jesus said, “Follow Me,” Peter left the only life he had known and he did so immediately. He didn’t know that in following Him he would witness countless miracles and even take part in some of them. He didn’t know the role he would one day play for Jesus. He didn’t know that he would one day be identified as the rock on which His church would be built. He didn’t know he had a purpose. He didn’t know that he had been specifically chosen and not at random. Moreover, he certainly did not know that he would one day die for Him. The one thing Peter did know was he had to follow Him. There was something. Perhaps it was His eyes when He first looked at him, maybe His voice when He first spoke, or the way He approached him. With Jesus, it could have been all three! The one thing he knew at that moment was he had to follow Him and he needed to find out why. Just who was He?
     For three years, Peter walked with Jesus. He experienced life with Him. He’d been in a few storms with Him and even got to walk on water once. He learned the importance of keeping his eyes on Jesus, no matter how high the waves got. His greatest lesson from one of the storms was Who had authority over them. He witnessed first-hand the wind and waves obeying this Man.  One thing is for sure, Jesus was certainly no ordinary man. It was during these three short years that he learned that the man he had chosen to follow was indeed the Messiah, the Son of the living God.  With this revelation came a heart that fully intended to follow Him, wherever He would go. Although Jesus had told him and the other disciples on many occasions that He was going to die, they didn’t seem to comprehend it (or didn’t want to). They heard Him say it but didn’t listen to what He was saying. (That’s another blog!) I wonder if it was because they wanted more time with Him. Had He really come into their lives for a short time just to leave them (even if it was by death)? Surely, that couldn’t be long enough to be a true witness for Him. Jesus knew His purpose on earth; Peter and the others did not. The three years spent with Jesus was preparing them for theirs.
     While reclining at the table during the Passover meal, Jesus told the twelve disciples that one of them would betray Him. Just like the others, Peter said, “Surely not I, Lord?” Even the guilty one would say the same thing. Jesus knew each of their hearts, as well as their intentions. Peter believed he could never betray Jesus; he never imagined that he would soon deny Him … more than once. Especially after all he had seen and taken part in. He really had good intentions. 
     At the Mount of Olives, Jesus revealed to them that that very night all of them would run away because of Him. Peter exclaimed, “Even if everyone runs away because of You, I will never run away!” Nevertheless, Jesus knew different. He knew Peter would deny Him three times before the rooster crowed. For him to wrap his mind around denying Christ was something he could not do. “Even if I have to die with You,” he said, “I will never deny You!” He couldn’t imagine denying the Messiah. He knew who Jesus was for crying out-loud! He’d seen the eyes of the blind opened, the dead rise, an adulterous woman be forgiven and changed. He’d seen thousands of people fed from a single boy’s lunch; even a legion of demons letting go to give a young man back his mind. Peter had seen impossible things become possible. Only with the Son of God could those things have taken place. He knew that with all his heart. That’s why he drew his sword, struck the high priest’s slave, and cut off his right ear. His intent was to defend Jesus; it was never to deny Him.
     No, Peter couldn’t imagine that he would ever deny Jesus. Yet he did … three times. Bless his heart he couldn’t even stay awake and pray when Jesus said to. I think it was his intention, if for no other reason, simply because he was told to. (Wouldn’t you try, too?) His response to Peter’s sleeping was for more than just that moment: “Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.” (Matthew 26:41)  If only Peter had really listened to His words. Maybe by remembering the words spoken it would have drowned the denials as they formed on his lips. Maybe only one denial would have slipped out. Just maybe if we would remember the words spoken to Peter that night we might not deny (in action or word) knowing Jesus, either. Maybe if we watched and prayed more we might not fall into temptation as well. Our intentions may be good also and yet they somehow go wrong, too.
     Peter’s intentions, although well meant, were not enough. And he knew it. His heart was broken for denying the very One he never thought he would and he wept bitterly. The Amplified Bible says, he “wept bitterly [in repentance].” That was the key – repentance. With true repentance forgiveness is given. No matter what the world believes, good intentions will not get you to heaven. It is not a pathway there. Repentance is required.

In awe of Him,

Vonda

**If you find yourself with good intentions gone wrong, repent and accept forgiveness. God already knows your heart. He’s just waiting on you.

 

        

    

    

Not My Will, But Yours

Luke 22:42> “Father, if it is Your will, take this cup away from Me; nevertheless, not My will, but Yours, be done.” (NKJV)

What a powerful prayer. If not careful, one could read right over the verse and not feel the impact of what was going on. If you do not visualize and understand that while Jesus, God’s Son, was on this earth He was indeed in human form. He was flesh and blood just like us. He had a heart that beat just like ours. Blood flowed through His veins just like ours. He even knew pain just as we do. Yes, He was God. He knew what the outcome of what was going to happen would be. However, we forget sometimes that there would still be pain. He would not escape that.

Although Jesus lived a perfect, sinless life, He never escaped things “thrown” at Him. He knew what being tired felt like. He knew sadness and even wept. He knew friendships and He knew betrayal. I don’t know about you but the word “perfect” can throw me for a loop. I would think that somewhere in that definition ought to include “no temptations” or “smooth-sailing”. However, it doesn’t. If there were any way possible at all that I could come close to living a perfect, sinless life, it would have to be without temptations and hand in hand with smooth sailing. Oh and then this old flesh of mine would have to be removed. (Can I get an Amen?) While here on earth that is just not going to happen.

Things were about to change for Jesus. It was about to get hard; it was about to become a very difficult time for Him. He and the disciples had just partaken of their last supper together. This had not been just any meal. I wonder if the disciples felt that. Did they sense how different this one was? It was the Passover, but this meal meant more than they comprehended. One from Jesus’ inner circle was about to betray Him. He knew it but no one else did. He even knew who it would be. The weight of that alone had to be a strain. Yet the Lord knew the betrayal had to happen. It was part of the plan. Moreover, this was not just any plan; it was the plan of redemption.

Once they had finished the Passover meal, “they sang a hymn and went out to the Mount of Olives” (Matthew 26:30). That was a nice little nugget tucked away in Scripture. Jesus sang! I mean, we have probably never really thought about it, but here it just lets us know He did.  I wonder if He was an alto, perhaps He was a tenor, maybe a baritone, or even a bass. Then again, we are talking about Jesus. He probably had every vocal range there was. (I wonder if He will sing for us, or if we will get to sing with Him in Heaven. Hmmmmm…)

Gethsemane is the name of an olive orchard inside the Mount of Olives. Jesus liked this place. He went there frequently with His disciples to pray. (Judas knew this. He had gone there with Jesus before, also. However, this night he would not go with Him, he would go for Him.) In my mind’s eye, I imagine a beautiful place, a place that would just draw you to it. Rows of trees lined beautifully offering solitude and perhaps a nice shade during the day. Maybe a particular tree drew Jesus to a certain spot (if indeed He had one). Maybe a certain place appeared the most inviting to pray alone and/or with friends. Maybe that’s where He felt closest to His Father. In my mind's eye, I can see why this place was chose. There was something comforting about it. No wonder this is where He came when one of His own was about to betray Him. Even knowing it would happen certainly did not make it less painful. He was human, after all.

Have you ever been in such emotional pain that you really wanted to be alone and yet at the same time, not? You just needed your closest friends to stand (kneel, sit, lay, squat, etc.) close by praying? Getting downright messy in your prayer may not necessarily be what you want your friends to see. You know the kind; they’re the ugly cries that distort your face! Those kind of cries are heart wrenching. Not just for you but also for those who see it. That kind of crying comes from down deep. A place filled with pain. A place perhaps you never wanted to experience, let alone expose. I’ve done a few of those. Some of those cries were in pure repentance; and some were in deep emotional pain. Sometimes both combined.

It was about to get real for Jesus in Gethsemane. Now He was going knowing that the weight of sin was about to be on His shoulders. Sin was certainly something He’d never experienced before yet He knew the magnitude of it because of the price required. No wonder He needed Gethsemane, a familiar and comforting place. However, on this night its beauty and comfort was at risk of changing...only if allowed to. The betrayal that was about to take place could easily ruin what it meant to Him and even to His disciples. (Just a thought but could it be that what was about to take place, beauty and comfort was needed to put focus on in order to endure?)  

“My soul is exceedingly sorrowful, even to death” (Mark 13:34 NKJV). The sorrow Jesus felt had to be hard to endure. I would imagine it was a feeling like He had never felt before. Knowing it was for a purpose may not have been very comforting right then. Well, it least for me it might not be. I cannot imagine the weight of the world on my shoulders like He did. Not to mention His shoulders were human shoulders. It did not mean He was weak, it means He knows pain. I am grateful for that.

When deep sorrow comes my way, I know that Jesus knows how I feel. I may not know the pain He endured but He certainly knows mine. When I cry out, “Lord, take this sorrow, this pain from me!” He knows how I feel. And you know what? It makes it a little bit easier to say, “Lord, it’s not what I want, but what You want”.  Just as He knew what was on the other side of His pain, He knows what is on the other side of ours.

In awe of Him,

Vonda