Ephesians 5:25> “For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church, He gave up His life for her."
He tried to get out of the
car with ease. It just wasn’t going to happen. His body hurts more when he sits
for a period of time. It used to be for long periods of time, but now it’s even
the short ones, too.
He slowly stood tall and
waited for his legs to follow along with the rest of him. Nothing on his body
wanted to cooperate with each other; except for his mind. His mind knew what
needed to happen and he was going to wait for the rest of his body to follow
suit. It didn’t matter how long it was going to take.
For the first time in a
while, I could see the pain Raymond endures on a daily basis. But what hit me
the hardest was…..what he was willing to endure for me. No matter the pain his
body may be feeling, it’s what he would push through for me that broke my
heart. I saw a sacrificial kind of love.
One afternoon Raymond,
mom, and I had decided to go pick up a few burgers. Raymond had volunteered to
go inside and bring them back out to the car. The plan was to ride around a bit
while eating our food. It sounded really good to me because that meant I could
simply throw something on knowing no one would ever see me! I would never have
to get out of the car. No getting ready.
It was a good plan … until
I watched Raymond try to get out of the car. He was in so much pain. He
struggled to stand upright and even more to get his legs to move. It broke my
heart. He grimaced but kept on. He was not going to let the pain stop him.
That’s the kind of man he
is. He would do anything for me. He would endure anything for me. My heart
ached. I wasn’t a “damsel in distress”. I was perfectly fine. I had on old
sweat pants and an over-sized t-shirt. My hair was a mess and not an ounce of
make-up was on my face. I looked quite frightening actually. Not to Raymond. To
him I looked beautiful. To him I was worth going inside for. To him, I was
worth the pain. (And so was my mom.) Wow…
Guilt settled over me. How
could I have let him go inside when I should have instead? How could I have let
him suffer so much for me? It seemed incredibly selfish on my part. And yet, I
still sat. Even feeling the guilt I felt. Why would I do that? Quite honestly,
he wouldn’t have had it any other way.
Raymond can be a very
determined man. And on that particular day he was determined to stick with the
plan. No matter what it was going to cost him physically. Sounds like a great
love story, doesn’t it? To me, it is. He doesn’t see me as someone capable of
doing for themselves. He sees me as someone he wants to do things for; even if
it causes him extra pain. He’s willing. He’s willing to sacrifice that pain for
me.
The following Sunday, our
Pastor spoke on love. He even asked a question to the husbands: “Are you
willing to sacrifice your life for her?” That question choked me up. I knew the
answer. Raymond didn’t have to tell me if he would or not, I didn’t even have
to guess. I already knew the answer. I looked over at him and kissed him on the shoulder.
He tightened his grip on me just a little bit more.
He sacrifices for me every
day. Some days seem more pronounced than others. Those are the days that are
filled with much pain. And yet, he stays determined. He doesn’t waver. He’s on
a mission; a mission of the heart that involves me.
Knowing all of that about
Raymond made me see it more on a personal level about Jesus. Every day that He
walked this earth He sacrificed His day for us. Every step He took in His
ministry was a step closer to the cross. He did it willingly because His love
for us is that deep.
Jesus’ final walk to
Golgotha was more pronounced than ever. It was filled with much pain. Yet He
stayed determined. He didn’t waver. He was on a mission; a mission of the heart
that involved all of us.
In awe of Him,
~Vonda
Dear Sovereign Father, what a gift You have given each
of us. Such love that is still so hard to comprehend. Thank You, Lord, for taking
those final steps to Golgotha; for enduring such pain with every movement. All
because to You we were worth it.
