Matthew 23:27-28 > "Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You are like whitewashed tombs, which look beautiful on the outside but on the inside are full of dead men's bones and everything unclean. In the same way, on the outside you appear to people as righteous but on the inside you are full of hypocrisy and wickedness."
The older I get, the better my hind-sight becomes. I was one of those people that Jesus had warned "us" about. Only then I didn't know it. I was too busy pointing and patting. I pointed my finger at those who paraded their sins out there for everyone to see. I patted my own shoulder because I didn't have any to parade. Today, I see the hypocrisy in that very comment. But then? I viewed sin as the stuff on the outside. I was blind to the stuff on the inside being labeled as sin.
After many years (I'm talking 34 of them!), an old friend came back into my life. Who would have ever thought that a social media outlet would do that? Anyhow, she was afraid to approach me. Oh how ashamed I am because of that. The sad thing was, I couldn't imagine why. My brother had told her that I was not the same person anymore. I guess I had forgotten who that person was. And the truth is, I had forgotten. I just remembered us as being the best of friends as mid-teens. I couldn't remember anything else. Satan is good that way. He likes to keep us in the dark. But God had other plans. (I love to say that: But God.)
Della and I were the best of friends! We laughed a lot and shared a lot. It least, I thought we had. We definitely laughed a lot, but unfortunately, only so much was really shared. She had been stuck in a life that I knew nothing about. She was protecting herself. Even as a young teenager, her life was full of darkness. It was something she would never share with me. Not then, that is, but definitely now! New creatures! That's what happens when God intervenes. She has a story! She has a story that is filled with God's mercy, His grace, and His healing power! She remembers the date that He set her free!
After a few years, she had tried to get in touch with me again. A phone call, a simple phone call and I blew it. "I think it's best that we part ways", or something to that effect is what I said. She had made a tough decision for her life and I ...I thought ...I thought that ... I thought that I was somehow better than her. It saddens my heart that I could have ever felt that way. I don't remember the conversation (that's those blinders that Satan loves to use!) but she does. That was the last memory she had of our friendship. I had been so busy looking righteous on the outside when all along the inside of me was full of dead men's bones and everything unclean. And for years, I would continue to live that way.
But God had other plans! Through social media we would find each other again. This time as "new" people. That's what God does. He takes the old and ugly and then shapes it into something new and beautiful! HE is certainly not finished with me; there is still so much to do. I praise Him for revealing the Pharisee in me so that I could, and would, come to the place of repentance. With true repentance comes freedom. It wasn't easy to allow God to reveal that in me. He knew just when to do it. Oh how His timing is perfect!! Any other time I might not would have allowed such revealing. It hurts. The process is so painful and yet so needed. God knew that I was ready; He knew that I would truly repent. Oh how I praise Him!!
On February 14, 2015, Della Garrett Sims will become Della Garrett Sims Coleman. She will be my sister-in-law. My brother is gaining a godly wife and I am gaining another godly sister. I am blessed. God knew that it was going to take approximately 33-34 years for us to "marinate". (Not to mention, He knew it was going to take Greg that long to marinate, too!) A whole lot of life has happened in-between that time. None of it was a surprise to God.
Heavenly Father, oh how I praise You!! You are good. Your timing is perfect. I thank You Lord for the Pharisee. It is in the Pharisee that you revealed the ugly in me. Thank You Lord for not giving up on me. Thank You for pursuing me with fervor. Your love is relentless. Lord I ask that You never stop revealing the sin that I keep guarded in my heart. Help me to never point a finger or pat myself on the shoulder. Help me to never look at myself at being better than others. And Lord, when I do, convict my heart so that I can repent. Thank You Lord for Your grace and mercy. Thank You Lord for new beginnings.
In the precious and holy name of Jesus ~ Amen
