Seeing Beyond What Is

Romans 8:28> We know that all things work together for the good of those who love God: those who are called according to His purpose. (HCSB)

     There were so many expectations for the year of 2019. I’d had plans without really having any in particular for the New Year. All I knew was that it would certainly be better. Don’t get me wrong, the year 2018 wasn’t disappointing, but I just knew that it could certainly be topped! Boy was it. It started out with a bang!

     The 2019 year began with the flu. (I know, yuck!) It also ended with it, too. There were things tucked in between as well. A “good” case of cellulitis landed me in the hospital for a few days (I thought it was an antibiotic rash.). I gathered from the doctor and nurses that “good” really did not mean that at all. Anything that lands you in the hospital rarely is. However, I did get a break in time before anything else would catch my attention. Looking back on that makes me grateful for a little more time.

     One afternoon coming home from work, I was involved in a car accident. It happened to me (not my fault) I did not cause it. Thankfully, the young girl involved and I both got out of our own cars. We both walked around and were able to speak. There were no broken bones and no bloody scene. I thank God for that! I will not dwell on what could have been I will praise Him for what was. She took a very big hit from her steering wheel and I took a very big hit from the back of my seat. There is no doubt she physically ended up with a few issues from it. I know I did, and am still dealing with them. That does not change the fact that God showed up in a mighty way!

      I had sat and cried over the way the year had been going so far. It had begun to take a toll on me mentally. I don’t think it was common knowledge. I think I hid it very well. (A few people knew, and I do mean a few.) A person can slap a smile on their face and even proclaim Jesus without ever allowing Him to be in their situation. At least for a time they can. However, when you truly know Jesus, His peace will begin to flood your very being. I knew better than to question Why me? The answer will always be, why not me! Yet, that is what I did…why me, Lord? The smile remained on my face even when it was the hardest but my heart was not always in it. I wanted to be the Christian that people saw as strong. I have learned that if they do not see you at your weakest at times too, then they find it hard to believe you can be real. We do not set out to deceive others intentionally but it is what sort of happens. No one wants to be real with someone that does not themselves appear to be.

     After using up all of my sick time and a majority of my vacation time at work, I really felt down in the dumps. I used those up halfway through the year. However, the closer 2019 came to an end, I began to see beyond what is. “It is what it is” is not always true. It depends on how you look at it, what you choose to see. I decided to sit back and take a different look. Not only did I want to see beyond what it is, I needed to as well.      

     Although having the flu in January, when you work for a propane company, is not the best time (well, having the flu never is!) it did allow me to rest from a crazy holiday season. It also allowed me time to appreciate my job more. Time spent in the hospital gave me an opportunity to meet a few people who worked there. Some were in the medical field and some were not. The conversations were priceless; even those late at night or extreme early morning conversations. I never imagined being able to laugh so hard when you are the one who is the patient!  

    I have to admit it had been my car accident that had played the biggest toll on me mentally, physically and yes, spiritually. I was able to get over the flu, both times, and bounced back from my stay in the hospital. However, the car accident issues were the ones that lasted the longest. They are still with me to a degree. This struggle has been the most real. This one I truly needed God to help me see how it could "work together for the good”. He knew I would and waited patiently for me to ask Him. (Isn’t God good? His timing is everything!)

     I ended up having to see a chiropractor. He was able to pinpoint an issue I was having. He was a miracle-worker for me! Through several months of visits, Raymond and I had gotten to know a few of them very well. I was learning the “all things work together for the good…” part and it was changing me. Meeting the people there was such a joy. They were like family to us. We shared sadness and joy, and even asked for prayer multiple times. I looked forward to every appointment! Raymond surely did not mind going with me. This group of people not only played a part of my physical well-being, they also played a part of my emotional, and spiritual well-being, too. My heart had definitely been affected. I was blessed by going there. Satan certainly did not know I would be; however, God sure did. He is such a good God!

     My last visit with the chiropractor was bitter-sweet. I wasn’t ready to say good-bye, yet I physically felt much better. I did not want to leave them. We all hugged and expressed how grateful we were that our paths had indeed crossed. I was certainly never going to forget them. Neither was Raymond. God knows exactly what we need and when we need it most. They each played an important role in my healing; not just physically either.

In awe of Him,

Vonda