Not My Will, But Yours

Luke 22:42> “Father, if it is Your will, take this cup away from Me; nevertheless, not My will, but Yours, be done.” (NKJV)

What a powerful prayer. If not careful, one could read right over the verse and not feel the impact of what was going on. If you do not visualize and understand that while Jesus, God’s Son, was on this earth He was indeed in human form. He was flesh and blood just like us. He had a heart that beat just like ours. Blood flowed through His veins just like ours. He even knew pain just as we do. Yes, He was God. He knew what the outcome of what was going to happen would be. However, we forget sometimes that there would still be pain. He would not escape that.

Although Jesus lived a perfect, sinless life, He never escaped things “thrown” at Him. He knew what being tired felt like. He knew sadness and even wept. He knew friendships and He knew betrayal. I don’t know about you but the word “perfect” can throw me for a loop. I would think that somewhere in that definition ought to include “no temptations” or “smooth-sailing”. However, it doesn’t. If there were any way possible at all that I could come close to living a perfect, sinless life, it would have to be without temptations and hand in hand with smooth sailing. Oh and then this old flesh of mine would have to be removed. (Can I get an Amen?) While here on earth that is just not going to happen.

Things were about to change for Jesus. It was about to get hard; it was about to become a very difficult time for Him. He and the disciples had just partaken of their last supper together. This had not been just any meal. I wonder if the disciples felt that. Did they sense how different this one was? It was the Passover, but this meal meant more than they comprehended. One from Jesus’ inner circle was about to betray Him. He knew it but no one else did. He even knew who it would be. The weight of that alone had to be a strain. Yet the Lord knew the betrayal had to happen. It was part of the plan. Moreover, this was not just any plan; it was the plan of redemption.

Once they had finished the Passover meal, “they sang a hymn and went out to the Mount of Olives” (Matthew 26:30). That was a nice little nugget tucked away in Scripture. Jesus sang! I mean, we have probably never really thought about it, but here it just lets us know He did.  I wonder if He was an alto, perhaps He was a tenor, maybe a baritone, or even a bass. Then again, we are talking about Jesus. He probably had every vocal range there was. (I wonder if He will sing for us, or if we will get to sing with Him in Heaven. Hmmmmm…)

Gethsemane is the name of an olive orchard inside the Mount of Olives. Jesus liked this place. He went there frequently with His disciples to pray. (Judas knew this. He had gone there with Jesus before, also. However, this night he would not go with Him, he would go for Him.) In my mind’s eye, I imagine a beautiful place, a place that would just draw you to it. Rows of trees lined beautifully offering solitude and perhaps a nice shade during the day. Maybe a particular tree drew Jesus to a certain spot (if indeed He had one). Maybe a certain place appeared the most inviting to pray alone and/or with friends. Maybe that’s where He felt closest to His Father. In my mind's eye, I can see why this place was chose. There was something comforting about it. No wonder this is where He came when one of His own was about to betray Him. Even knowing it would happen certainly did not make it less painful. He was human, after all.

Have you ever been in such emotional pain that you really wanted to be alone and yet at the same time, not? You just needed your closest friends to stand (kneel, sit, lay, squat, etc.) close by praying? Getting downright messy in your prayer may not necessarily be what you want your friends to see. You know the kind; they’re the ugly cries that distort your face! Those kind of cries are heart wrenching. Not just for you but also for those who see it. That kind of crying comes from down deep. A place filled with pain. A place perhaps you never wanted to experience, let alone expose. I’ve done a few of those. Some of those cries were in pure repentance; and some were in deep emotional pain. Sometimes both combined.

It was about to get real for Jesus in Gethsemane. Now He was going knowing that the weight of sin was about to be on His shoulders. Sin was certainly something He’d never experienced before yet He knew the magnitude of it because of the price required. No wonder He needed Gethsemane, a familiar and comforting place. However, on this night its beauty and comfort was at risk of changing...only if allowed to. The betrayal that was about to take place could easily ruin what it meant to Him and even to His disciples. (Just a thought but could it be that what was about to take place, beauty and comfort was needed to put focus on in order to endure?)  

“My soul is exceedingly sorrowful, even to death” (Mark 13:34 NKJV). The sorrow Jesus felt had to be hard to endure. I would imagine it was a feeling like He had never felt before. Knowing it was for a purpose may not have been very comforting right then. Well, it least for me it might not be. I cannot imagine the weight of the world on my shoulders like He did. Not to mention His shoulders were human shoulders. It did not mean He was weak, it means He knows pain. I am grateful for that.

When deep sorrow comes my way, I know that Jesus knows how I feel. I may not know the pain He endured but He certainly knows mine. When I cry out, “Lord, take this sorrow, this pain from me!” He knows how I feel. And you know what? It makes it a little bit easier to say, “Lord, it’s not what I want, but what You want”.  Just as He knew what was on the other side of His pain, He knows what is on the other side of ours.

In awe of Him,

Vonda