"Who Do You Say That I Am?"

We live in a world that has decided who God is. HE's been reduced to mere humanity. No longer is HE just, no longer is HE sovereign and no longer is HE perfect. HE is filled with flaws. The world has stripped the living God from everything that makes HIM exactly who HE is. Unfortunately, even Christians today look at who the world says God is and easily point fingers and condemn. Sadly, I have been, and at times still am, one of them. (I do not admit that with pride. It is with deep conviction.) I, too, have reduced God to who I wanted HIM to be. And that also makes HIM flawed.

In Matthew 16:13 Jesus asked HIS disciples, "Who do people say that the Son of Man is?" And they responded with what they had heard. The world has given its own definition of who they think God is, as well. But it's HIS next question to the disciples in verse 15 that stirs me, "But who do you say that I am?" Now Jesus gets personal. I believe it was the main question that HE was really asking. The very ones that were following HIM were the ones who needed to be convinced of who HE really was. If they didn't know for sure, then how could they tell others? 
     
We get angry when the world's definition of who God is doesn't line up with HIS word. But what about when we, as Christians, have made up our own ideas of who God is? We tend to expect the world's definition of God to be spot on and yet feel pretty good about our own. Do we really believe HE is just? Do we really believe HE is sovereign? Do we really believe HE is perfect? The right answer would be to say "yes". But, is it always the truth?
     
It's a personal question God is asking me, too. "Regardless of who the world says that I am, and regardless of who other Christians say that I am, what matters the most right now, Vonda, is who do you say that I am?"  That really struck home. Before I point and condemn others, I need to take a long hard look at myself. Right smack in the middle of adversity who do I say and truly believe God is? When it feels like my world is falling apart, who do I say and truly believe God is?

If I am not convinced that HE is just, sovereign, perfect and 100% flawless then how can I tell others?  

In awe of HIM,
Vonda 

“Unbind him and let him go!”

John 11:1-44

Mary and Martha had sent word to Jesus that their brother Lazarus, His dear friend, was sick. Instead of stopping, what He was doing and going straight to his side, Jesus waited two more days. By the time He had gotten there, Lazarus had been dead four days. Four whole days! Jesus was too late to heal him. However, it was not going to stop Jesus from showing them God’s glory, even if they did believe He had been too late. 

Placed at the entrance of the tomb, was a large stone. However, it was not going to deter Jesus! With a loud voice He said, “Take away the stone.” Martha spoke up and reminded Him that Lazarus had been dead four days. There would be an odor and it would be horrible! Aww, but Jesus had a plan. With His eyes lifted toward heaven He prayed aloud. After all, it was for their benefit that he did so. Then loudly Jesus called him by name and said, “Lazarus, come out.” And that’s exactly what he did…he came out! (John 11:43-44) The one, who had died four days earlier, now completely alive, came out of the tomb. I wonder if anyone fainted at the site of a man who had been dead now coming forth for all to see. I can only imagine.

Lazarus’ body had been prepared for burial after he had died. His hands and feet were bound with linen strips (NLT says ‘grave clothes’) and his face was wrapped with a cloth. As he stood in front of everyone, fully alive, Jesus said, “Unbind him, and let him go.” With those words spoken, Lazarus was free from what had him bound in the tomb. It had let him go. No longer was he dead; no longer was he bound. He was free.

That speaks volumes to my soul. Jesus spoke to the very thing that had Lazarus bound, the very thing that kept him from being free. (Did you get that?)That gives me goosebumps. Lazarus, being alive again and yet still bound, would never have experienced complete freedom. After all, how beneficial would life be if it were being lived in bondage? Jesus, with His infinite power and wisdom, knew it. To live free, the thing that had him bound was the exact same thing that had to let him go. After all, His plan had been to set Lazarus completely free and not to be confined.

There were four directives given by Jesus:

1)    take away the stone - remove the obstacle

2)    come out - do not stay in

3)    unbind him – release what is holding

4)    let him go - experience freedom

Jesus still does that for us today. He removes the obstacles that keep us in and He speaks to the very things that have us bound. It is so we can personally experience freedom. 

“If the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.” John 8:36

In awe of Him,

Vonda

 ** Just a thought **

Have you ever wondered who, or what, “them” were? Was it the people close by who Jesus said to unbind Lazarus and let him go? Or was it actually the grave clothes? Just who or what were “them”…

 Am I the only one who has ever pondered that? Nonetheless, either scenario works! After all, we are talking about Jesus. Things happen when He speaks! 

Time Lost

It’s sad when your eyes are finally opened to time that has been lost. Time that you cannot get back. Time that has been wasted. Regret starts to sink in. You can’t go back and change anything. “I’m sorry” is no longer possible to say. It’s really hard when you have to admit that that particular time is now gone.

There’s been too much death lately. Yet, we know that it is inevitable. Our loved ones will pass on from this life, the life we share with them. It doesn’t make it easy whatsoever to know that it is a part of life. It just explains it. So, what are we, am I, going to do with the time we, I, have now? That’s the important question.

I’ve lost time with loved ones that could have been different.  I truly could have spent more time with them. I could have allowed them to even impact my life in a positive way, if only I had looked. But I didn’t, I chose not to. I let the negative (my insecurity) overpower instead of looking where there could have been positive. Yes, I am ashamed. Yes, I’d love to go back in time, change it and make it better. But I can’t. That time is now lost. Quite honestly, I don’t do well losing things. Normally I try to find whatever is lost. Especially, if it has value to it. Why is it so different with people? Why do we, I, settle with knowing we, I, could do better in finding time and then don’t? How important is it? These past few days have taught me how valuable time really is.

I have family that I haven’t seen in quite a while. At least, that is, until lately. Recently I’ve spent time with them for an important occasion. Not a joyous one, but an important one nonetheless. One rainy afternoon we gathered with a cousin as he and his daughters, laid his wife and their mother to rest. Time had not been on their side. In fact, it had been robbed from them. (Or was it? God knew the when, where and how. He knew the condition of each heart.) Satan had come to “steal and kill and destroy” (John 10:10) their family. For the outsider looking in it could have easily appeared as if he had succeeded. And just for a moment, we could have believed it to. But what the Enemy cannot steal, kill nor destroy are the memories that had been shared. According to our cousin’s pictures and stories, even the things we’d personally witnessed, they’d shared some really great ones! Laughter had once been in their home. It had filled their hearts. Attending church and worshiping the Lord together as a family had really happened. Those times were real…that’s what Satan cannot take. It’s those things we have to hold on to. We don’t hold on to things we wish were different. We have to let those go. If we don’t, then Satan wins. What determines if he wins or not will be what we choose to remember.

That even holds true for us as we look back and see where we could have spent more time with our loved ones. I really could have. The invitation was there to do so, but I chose not to. Is that what I’m going to remember? That the sad truth is I chose not to? Or am I going to allow myself to remember the last good time together? The answer is simple…do I want Satan to win or not? No!!

Just six days after laying one loved one to rest another one is said good-bye to. Once again Satan tried to steal, kill and destroy a life. And again he didn’t win! Just a few days before his last breath he’d gotten it right! He’d asked Jesus into his heart and to be his Lord and Savior. Although cancer had spread throughout his body the knowledge of knowing where he’d spend eternity was more real. That was priceless for his siblings and his children to know. And yes for the rest of us, too.

I do have regrets of not knowing my cousins better. I really do. Regret and knowing that I let them down can flood my heart. I missed out on what could have been. But I can’t change that now. At least, not with those who’ve passed on. But I can with those who are still here.

Psalm 90:12> Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.

In awe of Him,

~ Vonda

The Anticipation

     The forecast said snow. That’s a word we don’t hear often in the south. Especially, in  Alabama. Folks around these parts get a little crazy. Emotions range anywhere from dread to joy. Me? I get excited! I want all the snow I can get! 

     Just like a child I anxiously awaited the snow. I fell asleep in the living room just so I could glance out the window to catch a peek. I didn't want to miss it! I knew if I crawled in my bed I would stay there. I might miss the early morning view; the one just before daybreak, while it is still falling. To me, it is simply magical. My thoughts always drift to a place where I find comfort. And for a moment my soul feels at peace. The inner child in me is delighted.

     I’ve never really thought a lot about Advent. I guess you could say I’ve just gone through the motions of doing the devotionals. They spoke to my heart at the time yet they didn’t seem to stick. But this year, something clicked. Here I was anticipating the coming of snow. Something that, although is beautiful, won’t last. It does cover the ugliness of things with a blanket of pure white. It hides everything, even if it is just for a time. But… it will go away. What’s underneath the snow will be revealed. It won’t stay hidden forever.

(Luke 8:17> “For nothing is concealed that won’t be revealed, and nothing hidden that won’t be made known and come to light.”)

     To me, Advent was for Christmas. It’s a time to anticipate the coming or arrival of the Messiah. Many Jews eagerly awaited His coming. He just didn’t come like they had expected. There were no trumpet sounds, no big celebration, and not even one or two dignitaries present. Those who were there were shepherds and animals. The shepherds came because during their watch an angel of the Lord appeared and told them what had happened. Outside of that, they wouldn’t have known. There would have been no reason for them to. They certainly were not important; dignitaries they were not! Yet, God chose to reveal His Gift to mankind to the least among men, first. (With the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God had shown up.) And as for the animals…they smelled! Surely the Messiah would not be born among smelly animals and unimportant people. So why in the world would the Jews have expected the Messiah to have come like He did? They wouldn’t have. The Wise Men knew something extraordinary had happened. They saw the star. The only problem was they went to where they thought a baby born as king of the Jews would be – Herod’s home. But the baby wasn’t there. Even they were caught off guard. Nothing was like it should’ve been; or so they thought.

     In my anticipation for the snow to come I realized I didn’t anticipate His return in the same way. I had felt like a child at Christmas with all the excitement and joy one could feel at the mere mention of snow. I eagerly awaited it and could hardly sleep. For years I’ve known that Jesus is coming back to reclaim what is His. Yet, I’d not felt excitement. At least, not like I did with the snow. Slowly I began to feel sadness. Here I was celebrating the idea of snow and had yet even thought of celebrating the knowledge of knowing He is coming back. Even though the weatherman predicted snow, let’s get real; they’ve been wrong about the weather before. Unlike the weatherman, God’s Word is never wrong. It’s time to wake up and truly anticipate the right thing, the 100% true thing…He is coming back.

     Through reading more about Advent this year, I’ve learned that we are still looking for His coming or arrival. This time we know that He will be coming to stay. Everyone on the face of this earth will know who He is. There will be no mistake. The long awaited King will have returned. Trumpets will sound upon His arrival. As for a celebration, well, all of creation has waited for His returning so you bet there will be one!

Just like I anticipated the snow that night, this time I am definitely anticipating His return.

In awe of Him,

~Vonda

Mightier Than These

Psalm 93:3-4 > "The floods have risen up, O LORD. The floods have roared like thunder; the floods have lifted their pounding waves. But mightier than the violent raging of the seas, mightier than the breakers on the shore - the LORD above is mightier than these!" (NLT)

     The devastation of hurricanes lately have left us speechless. The flood waters that have claimed homes and taken lives are innumerable. Our hearts have grieved with those that have been in its path. Tears flowed as we thought of the loss of so many and for so many.
     I found myself glued to the TV watching to see where the hurricane was going to hit next. Praying that it would not be us and then feeling guilty because it would be someone else. I knew wherever it was going to land would be bad.
     Hurricane Irma scared me. She was big. It seemed as if her size was never ending! I couldn't help but be mesmerized by her size and intensity. She was strong. It was like she'd been caged and finally set free. Her waters seemed to devour land as if she were hungry in search of food. Yes, Irma scared me. She seemed powerful.
     God's Word has such sweet nuggets tucked inside that remind us of who He is and the strength He has. Although Irma was mighty, God is mightier. Let's not forget that either.

***Continue to pray for all those that have been affected by this active hurricane season.

In awe of Him,
Vonda


    

Not Even a Storm

Mark 5:15a > “When they came to Jesus, they saw the man who had been possessed by the legion of demons, sitting there, dressed and in his right mind;”

     On the other side of the lake lived a man who was in need of deliverance. The disciples didn’t know about it, they were just going where Jesus said. Nothing was going to keep Him from where He was needed…not even a storm.

     The story that unfolds sounds calm. There is no hint of Jesus needing to be at a particular place. We would even think by reading the passages of Mark 4 that things fell into place and just happened. There’s not a hint of urgency or a mission. But we all know that things do not “just happen” when Jesus is involved. There’s always purpose. And most of the time there is someone with an urgent need.

     Jesus was teaching by the lake and a large crowd gathered around Him. So He got into a boat while the crowd remained on shore listening. I can’t help but wonder how He was able to be heard. I suppose that if you really want to hear what someone has to say you pay attention and keep your focus on them. You learn to block out any noise other than the voice of the one you are trying to hear. It’s difficult but yet it can be done. I wonder if the children that were present (if any) just knew to be quiet and sit still? Did they want to hear Him, too? What a challenge that could be! But this was Jesus. A challenge wasn’t really a challenge for Him.

     The day was drawing to an end and it was time to go. Jesus said, “Let’s cross over to the other side of the lake” (Mark 4:35). It was His decision to leave; and it was His decision to where they would go. That’s very important to understand. First glance at reading the verse, it doesn’t stand out to be of importance. It sounds like an idea without a purpose. Kind of like a random thought. However, where Jesus wanted to go was very important; there was nothing random about it. There was a reason He wanted to go to the other side. His disciples just didn’t know what it was. So by boat, they went.

     During the journey, a fierce storm came upon them. (ESV Study Note on Mark 4:37: The Sea of Galilee is 696 feet below sea level, resulting in violent downdrafts and sudden storms.) High waves violently crashed into the boat and it began to fill with water. Fear had overtaken the disciples. It makes my heart race as I think about their situation. They were truly afraid they were going to drown. Each time the boat was engulfed by a wave, their fear escalated. Who could blame them? During the day a storm is bad enough but at night it’s so much worse!  

     As fear overtook the disciples, much needed rest had overtaken Jesus. The wind tossing the boat around and the crashing waves had not kept Him from sleeping. After all, He knew there was somewhere He needed to be and a storm was not going to keep Him from getting there. In fear for their lives the disciples woke Him up. Jesus rebuked the wind and spoke to the waves then everything was calm. It did not go unnoticed by the disciples that even the wind and waves obeyed Him.

     On the other side of the lake lived a man with an unclean spirit that lived among the tombs. He was a terror to society. No one could bind him anymore, not even with a chain. He’d often been bound with shackles and chains but had violently twisted the chains apart and broke the shackles in pieces. No one had the strength to subdue him. Night and day he cried out and cut himself with stones (Mark 5:1-6). If anyone was in desperate need of a Savior, this man certainly was! And Jesus knew it.

      John 6:44a > “No one can come to Me unless the Father who sent Me draws him.” 
When he saw Jesus get out of the boat from a distance, he ran and fell on his knees in front of Him. (Could the unclean spirit quite possibly have been overpowered by this man’s desperation for deliverance? Could that desperation cause him to run to Jesus and kneel? If the Father draws him it can!) Before Jesus told the unclean spirit to come out of the man it knew who He was. With a shriek, he began to scream at Him, “Why are You interfering with me Jesus, Son of the Most High God? In the name of God, I beg You, don’t torture me!” (NLT v.7) Jesus demanded what his name was and he replied, Legion, which meant there were many of them inside the man. (Can you imagine being held captive by that many?)

     How long had this man lived in such bondage? How long had he been able to truly live? Did he have family? Did they miss him? Had they written him off, so to speak? Did anyone even care? So many questions come to mind as my heart aches for this man. He lived alone among the tombs, among the dead, where there was no life. He spent his days and nights crying out and painfully cutting himself with sharp stones. He was in urgent need of deliverance. And Jesus wanted to deliver him. Not even a storm would keep Him from doing so.

     The unclean spirit kept begging Jesus not to send them out of the region. They didn’t want to leave. There was a large herd of pigs nearby feeding on the hillside. The demons begged Jesus to let them enter into the pigs. So He gave them permission. When they entered into the pigs the herd rushed down the steep bank into the sea and drowned! Jesus and the now delivered man looked each other in the eyes. Can’t you just picture the look of adoration and gratitude on the man’s face from being set free? Feeling something he’d never thought he’d feel again? Can’t you just see the tears from freedom flowing? Can’t you just picture Jesus with His arms extended and His eyes filled with love? Can’t you see this man embracing the One who gave him new life?

     This is the place where a lump forms in my throat. The next time the man was seen, he was sitting with Jesus in his right mind; being tormented no more. Now he is able to live among the living and no longer among the dead. The other side of the lake had purpose. There was someone there in great need. And Jesus fully intended to go to him. Nothing was going to keep Him from that…not even a storm.

Jesus still feels that way, even today. Nothing will keep Him from delivering those in need. Not even a storm!

In awe of Him,

~ Vonda

***Dear Heavenly Father, thank You for coming to our rescue. For coming to where we are in our bondage to set us free and for being willing to meet us in our most ugliest of places. Lord, there have been times that I didn’t think freedom was possible and You proved me wrong and set me free. Oh how grateful I am, Lord. Help us to walk in that freedom and never allow it to shackle us again. Thank You, Lord, for Your great love. In which we cannot fathom. May we never forget that it is for freedom that You have set us free. ~Amen

A Sacrificial Love

Ephesians 5:25> “For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church,  He gave up His life for her." 

     He tried to get out of the car with ease. It just wasn’t going to happen. His body hurts more when he sits for a period of time. It used to be for long periods of time, but now it’s even the short ones, too.

     He slowly stood tall and waited for his legs to follow along with the rest of him. Nothing on his body wanted to cooperate with each other; except for his mind. His mind knew what needed to happen and he was going to wait for the rest of his body to follow suit. It didn’t matter how long it was going to take.

     For the first time in a while, I could see the pain Raymond endures on a daily basis. But what hit me the hardest was…..what he was willing to endure for me. No matter the pain his body may be feeling, it’s what he would push through for me that broke my heart. I saw a sacrificial kind of love.

     One afternoon Raymond, mom, and I had decided to go pick up a few burgers. Raymond had volunteered to go inside and bring them back out to the car. The plan was to ride around a bit while eating our food. It sounded really good to me because that meant I could simply throw something on knowing no one would ever see me! I would never have to get out of the car. No getting ready.

     It was a good plan … until I watched Raymond try to get out of the car. He was in so much pain. He struggled to stand upright and even more to get his legs to move. It broke my heart. He grimaced but kept on. He was not going to let the pain stop him.  

     That’s the kind of man he is. He would do anything for me. He would endure anything for me. My heart ached. I wasn’t a “damsel in distress”. I was perfectly fine. I had on old sweat pants and an over-sized t-shirt. My hair was a mess and not an ounce of make-up was on my face. I looked quite frightening actually. Not to Raymond. To him I looked beautiful. To him I was worth going inside for. To him, I was worth the pain. (And so was my mom.) Wow…

     Guilt settled over me. How could I have let him go inside when I should have instead? How could I have let him suffer so much for me? It seemed incredibly selfish on my part. And yet, I still sat. Even feeling the guilt I felt. Why would I do that? Quite honestly, he wouldn’t have had it any other way.

     Raymond can be a very determined man. And on that particular day he was determined to stick with the plan. No matter what it was going to cost him physically. Sounds like a great love story, doesn’t it? To me, it is. He doesn’t see me as someone capable of doing for themselves. He sees me as someone he wants to do things for; even if it causes him extra pain. He’s willing. He’s willing to sacrifice that pain for me.

     The following Sunday, our Pastor spoke on love. He even asked a question to the husbands: “Are you willing to sacrifice your life for her?” That question choked me up. I knew the answer. Raymond didn’t have to tell me if he would or not, I didn’t even have to guess. I already knew the answer. I looked over at him and kissed him on the shoulder. He tightened his grip on me just a little bit more.  

     He sacrifices for me every day. Some days seem more pronounced than others. Those are the days that are filled with much pain. And yet, he stays determined. He doesn’t waver. He’s on a mission; a mission of the heart that involves me. 

     Knowing all of that about Raymond made me see it more on a personal level about Jesus. Every day that He walked this earth He sacrificed His day for us. Every step He took in His ministry was a step closer to the cross. He did it willingly because His love for us is that deep.

     Jesus’ final walk to Golgotha was more pronounced than ever. It was filled with much pain. Yet He stayed determined. He didn’t waver. He was on a mission; a mission of the heart that involved all of us.

In awe of Him,

~Vonda

Dear Sovereign Father, what a gift You have given each of us. Such love that is still so hard to comprehend. Thank You, Lord, for taking those final steps to Golgotha; for enduring such pain with every movement. All because to You we were worth it.