Sleep Walking

Genesis 28:16> Then Jacob awoke from his sleep and said, “Surely the LORD is in this place, and I wasn’t even aware of it!”



     I am not one who physically walks in my sleep. I know that some do but I just never have. (At least, no one has ever told me I do!) However, numerous times I have … spiritually. No one told me I did; I discovered it on my own. That was hard to swallow and yet very freeing. You know what I mean? Hard to swallow because it was true yet freeing because I could confess and repent.

     I had fallen asleep to the needs around me. I had fallen asleep to the fact that God is all-seeing and He is all-knowing. Somehow, I had forgotten that fact. I had become too comfortable with my own life that I had grown complacent in it. I could go down the laundry detergent aisle at the grocery store, not think about Him being there, and miss an opportunity to share Him. I could be in line waiting to check out, someone break in front of me and forget He was also there and reading my thoughts, too. I can be with friends and/or families having a great time enjoying the moment and yet still forget He is there. I was sleep walking, so to speak, right through my days. Obviously, I did not want to wake up because I kept hitting the snooze button countless times.  Waking up would involve doing something. Waking up would involve living aware in His presence. Waking up would involve simply not being asleep.

     Finally an alarm clock, as Jonathan Cahn (a Jewish Messianic Rabbi) put it, went off that awakened me, a sound that hitting the snooze button would not have stopped. I was stunned at how long I must have been asleep. I was stunned at the missed opportunities to share Him. I was stunned at how long I had not been awake in His presence. Nevertheless, I was so grateful for the sounding alarm. I felt like Jacob waking up from sleep and saying, “Surely the LORD is in this place, and I wasn’t even aware of it!”     


     *** Heavenly Father, I am so ashamed that it has taken several snoozes to wake me up. But Lord, I am so grateful that it did! When I fall asleep again, Father, I pray that the sound be so invasive that it intrudes my dreams and awakens me from slumber. Forgive me for the countless times that I was spiritually sleep walking. I do not want to miss being awake in Your presence. I do not want to miss dwelling in You. I do not want to miss opportunities to share You. Thank You, Father, for the alarm clock that wakes me up spiritually. ~ Amen



In awe of Him,

Vonda



   

A Pesky Fly and An Open Door

Proverbs 4:23> “Guard your heart above all else, for it is the source of life.” (HCSB) 

One morning, while getting ready for work, a fly was in the bathroom with me. It had laid dormant waiting for the right time to attack. Once time was found, the fly came out of hiding dodging my head and swooping down knowing I was unable to end its life! It kept flying close to my face taunting me. (I even think I heard it laugh!) Dr. David Jeremiah was on the radio delivering a message I knew I would need. I could not hear a thing he said because of that pesky fly. I was sidetracked on the irritation in the room with me. I even opened the bathroom door hoping it would fly out. No matter how wide the door was open, the fly did not intend to leave. It had found its victim and seemed to be winning the battle. Why should it leave? 

That’s just like Satan. If the door of your heart is left open the tiniest bit, he will find a way in. He will lay dormant at first, so he does not bring attention to himself. He will find the perfect opportunity to catch you unaware. He will sidetrack you by attacking you with his dodging, swooping, and taunting. He will make sure your day is a mess with him, or his ugly deeds, on your mind. Beginning a day with an irritation is hard to shake off. At least, it is for me. It can pour into my day and onto those, I work with. (Sad, isn’t it?) The best solution for dealing with Satan is to keep THE spiritual fly swatter (God's Word) readily available. 

Later, my husband told me that I should have kept the bathroom door closed and simply killed the fly. Instead, I opened the door in hopes that it would fly away and leave me alone. I wanted it to bother someone else. Yikes! I could not see how bad my choice really was. If I had killed it, no one else in the house would have had to deal with it. If only I had gotten a fly swatter or “snapped” a washrag and ended its pesky life! If only I had done, whatever it would have taken. 

So what did I learn? #1) Pay attention to doors left open, even if it is a tiny bit! A pesky fly (or flies) can always find a way in. #2) Keep a fly swatter (God’s Word) handy. You never know when you will need it! 😊



In awe of Him,

Vonda

Immeasurably More

Thank You, Lord, for getting us through another week! I don’t know about y’all but last week was a doozy! I do not have a clue what this next week brings but I know the One who has it under control and is able to do immeasurably more than I can imagine.

Ephesians 3:20a> “Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine…” (NIV Life Application Study Bible)

Those two words stopped me in my “thought” tracks, immeasurably more. As I read them again-and-again, they began to sink in. Merriam-Webster Dictionary describes immeasurably more as being “impossible to measure, very great in size or amount”. Y’all, we cannot begin to imagine what God can truly do! I am so limited in what I can do. Even on my very best days, I am still limited. The best doctors worldwide are limited in their capabilities, as well. Without God’s hand on us, we can do nothing in our own strength. Anything extraordinary that we can do is simply because of God Himself.

Now God, well, He’s a different story. Mainly because He is not like us. He's...well...GOD! He does immeasurably more than we can comprehend. We cannot come close to imagining everything He can do. Just when I think I have Him a little figured out, He does something that causes me to sit in awe and wonder. A very dear friend once said: “He just cracks me up!” I agree with her, as I’m guessing those reading this agree with her, too. I can never begin to imagine all that God can truly do. It’s immeasurable!

When we stand before Him one day, we will meet the One who did immeasurably more than we ever asked or imagined. The lives that have been changed, marriages and/or relationships restored, healing when doctors said it was risky and/or hopeless, and even the dread of Monday’s (yes, even that, too!) being replaced with anticipation. Thank goodness, we will have a new body. Because this earthly body with this earthly heart just would not be able to handle it!   

Are you or someone you love facing something difficult? Just remember that God “is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine”!

In awe of Him,

Vonda

Good Intentions Gone Wrong

Mark 14:29> “Peter told Him, “Even if everyone runs away, I will certainly not!”

     The more I read about Peter the more I can relate to him. His heart seems to be in the right place yet, he does not always follow through. He has good intentions that end up going wrong. He means well but…. (OUCH!)
     When Jesus said, “Follow Me,” Peter left the only life he had known and he did so immediately. He didn’t know that in following Him he would witness countless miracles and even take part in some of them. He didn’t know the role he would one day play for Jesus. He didn’t know that he would one day be identified as the rock on which His church would be built. He didn’t know he had a purpose. He didn’t know that he had been specifically chosen and not at random. Moreover, he certainly did not know that he would one day die for Him. The one thing Peter did know was he had to follow Him. There was something. Perhaps it was His eyes when He first looked at him, maybe His voice when He first spoke, or the way He approached him. With Jesus, it could have been all three! The one thing he knew at that moment was he had to follow Him and he needed to find out why. Just who was He?
     For three years, Peter walked with Jesus. He experienced life with Him. He’d been in a few storms with Him and even got to walk on water once. He learned the importance of keeping his eyes on Jesus, no matter how high the waves got. His greatest lesson from one of the storms was Who had authority over them. He witnessed first-hand the wind and waves obeying this Man.  One thing is for sure, Jesus was certainly no ordinary man. It was during these three short years that he learned that the man he had chosen to follow was indeed the Messiah, the Son of the living God.  With this revelation came a heart that fully intended to follow Him, wherever He would go. Although Jesus had told him and the other disciples on many occasions that He was going to die, they didn’t seem to comprehend it (or didn’t want to). They heard Him say it but didn’t listen to what He was saying. (That’s another blog!) I wonder if it was because they wanted more time with Him. Had He really come into their lives for a short time just to leave them (even if it was by death)? Surely, that couldn’t be long enough to be a true witness for Him. Jesus knew His purpose on earth; Peter and the others did not. The three years spent with Jesus was preparing them for theirs.
     While reclining at the table during the Passover meal, Jesus told the twelve disciples that one of them would betray Him. Just like the others, Peter said, “Surely not I, Lord?” Even the guilty one would say the same thing. Jesus knew each of their hearts, as well as their intentions. Peter believed he could never betray Jesus; he never imagined that he would soon deny Him … more than once. Especially after all he had seen and taken part in. He really had good intentions. 
     At the Mount of Olives, Jesus revealed to them that that very night all of them would run away because of Him. Peter exclaimed, “Even if everyone runs away because of You, I will never run away!” Nevertheless, Jesus knew different. He knew Peter would deny Him three times before the rooster crowed. For him to wrap his mind around denying Christ was something he could not do. “Even if I have to die with You,” he said, “I will never deny You!” He couldn’t imagine denying the Messiah. He knew who Jesus was for crying out-loud! He’d seen the eyes of the blind opened, the dead rise, an adulterous woman be forgiven and changed. He’d seen thousands of people fed from a single boy’s lunch; even a legion of demons letting go to give a young man back his mind. Peter had seen impossible things become possible. Only with the Son of God could those things have taken place. He knew that with all his heart. That’s why he drew his sword, struck the high priest’s slave, and cut off his right ear. His intent was to defend Jesus; it was never to deny Him.
     No, Peter couldn’t imagine that he would ever deny Jesus. Yet he did … three times. Bless his heart he couldn’t even stay awake and pray when Jesus said to. I think it was his intention, if for no other reason, simply because he was told to. (Wouldn’t you try, too?) His response to Peter’s sleeping was for more than just that moment: “Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.” (Matthew 26:41)  If only Peter had really listened to His words. Maybe by remembering the words spoken it would have drowned the denials as they formed on his lips. Maybe only one denial would have slipped out. Just maybe if we would remember the words spoken to Peter that night we might not deny (in action or word) knowing Jesus, either. Maybe if we watched and prayed more we might not fall into temptation as well. Our intentions may be good also and yet they somehow go wrong, too.
     Peter’s intentions, although well meant, were not enough. And he knew it. His heart was broken for denying the very One he never thought he would and he wept bitterly. The Amplified Bible says, he “wept bitterly [in repentance].” That was the key – repentance. With true repentance forgiveness is given. No matter what the world believes, good intentions will not get you to heaven. It is not a pathway there. Repentance is required.

In awe of Him,

Vonda

**If you find yourself with good intentions gone wrong, repent and accept forgiveness. God already knows your heart. He’s just waiting on you.

 

        

    

    

Not My Will, But Yours

Luke 22:42> “Father, if it is Your will, take this cup away from Me; nevertheless, not My will, but Yours, be done.” (NKJV)

What a powerful prayer. If not careful, one could read right over the verse and not feel the impact of what was going on. If you do not visualize and understand that while Jesus, God’s Son, was on this earth He was indeed in human form. He was flesh and blood just like us. He had a heart that beat just like ours. Blood flowed through His veins just like ours. He even knew pain just as we do. Yes, He was God. He knew what the outcome of what was going to happen would be. However, we forget sometimes that there would still be pain. He would not escape that.

Although Jesus lived a perfect, sinless life, He never escaped things “thrown” at Him. He knew what being tired felt like. He knew sadness and even wept. He knew friendships and He knew betrayal. I don’t know about you but the word “perfect” can throw me for a loop. I would think that somewhere in that definition ought to include “no temptations” or “smooth-sailing”. However, it doesn’t. If there were any way possible at all that I could come close to living a perfect, sinless life, it would have to be without temptations and hand in hand with smooth sailing. Oh and then this old flesh of mine would have to be removed. (Can I get an Amen?) While here on earth that is just not going to happen.

Things were about to change for Jesus. It was about to get hard; it was about to become a very difficult time for Him. He and the disciples had just partaken of their last supper together. This had not been just any meal. I wonder if the disciples felt that. Did they sense how different this one was? It was the Passover, but this meal meant more than they comprehended. One from Jesus’ inner circle was about to betray Him. He knew it but no one else did. He even knew who it would be. The weight of that alone had to be a strain. Yet the Lord knew the betrayal had to happen. It was part of the plan. Moreover, this was not just any plan; it was the plan of redemption.

Once they had finished the Passover meal, “they sang a hymn and went out to the Mount of Olives” (Matthew 26:30). That was a nice little nugget tucked away in Scripture. Jesus sang! I mean, we have probably never really thought about it, but here it just lets us know He did.  I wonder if He was an alto, perhaps He was a tenor, maybe a baritone, or even a bass. Then again, we are talking about Jesus. He probably had every vocal range there was. (I wonder if He will sing for us, or if we will get to sing with Him in Heaven. Hmmmmm…)

Gethsemane is the name of an olive orchard inside the Mount of Olives. Jesus liked this place. He went there frequently with His disciples to pray. (Judas knew this. He had gone there with Jesus before, also. However, this night he would not go with Him, he would go for Him.) In my mind’s eye, I imagine a beautiful place, a place that would just draw you to it. Rows of trees lined beautifully offering solitude and perhaps a nice shade during the day. Maybe a particular tree drew Jesus to a certain spot (if indeed He had one). Maybe a certain place appeared the most inviting to pray alone and/or with friends. Maybe that’s where He felt closest to His Father. In my mind's eye, I can see why this place was chose. There was something comforting about it. No wonder this is where He came when one of His own was about to betray Him. Even knowing it would happen certainly did not make it less painful. He was human, after all.

Have you ever been in such emotional pain that you really wanted to be alone and yet at the same time, not? You just needed your closest friends to stand (kneel, sit, lay, squat, etc.) close by praying? Getting downright messy in your prayer may not necessarily be what you want your friends to see. You know the kind; they’re the ugly cries that distort your face! Those kind of cries are heart wrenching. Not just for you but also for those who see it. That kind of crying comes from down deep. A place filled with pain. A place perhaps you never wanted to experience, let alone expose. I’ve done a few of those. Some of those cries were in pure repentance; and some were in deep emotional pain. Sometimes both combined.

It was about to get real for Jesus in Gethsemane. Now He was going knowing that the weight of sin was about to be on His shoulders. Sin was certainly something He’d never experienced before yet He knew the magnitude of it because of the price required. No wonder He needed Gethsemane, a familiar and comforting place. However, on this night its beauty and comfort was at risk of changing...only if allowed to. The betrayal that was about to take place could easily ruin what it meant to Him and even to His disciples. (Just a thought but could it be that what was about to take place, beauty and comfort was needed to put focus on in order to endure?)  

“My soul is exceedingly sorrowful, even to death” (Mark 13:34 NKJV). The sorrow Jesus felt had to be hard to endure. I would imagine it was a feeling like He had never felt before. Knowing it was for a purpose may not have been very comforting right then. Well, it least for me it might not be. I cannot imagine the weight of the world on my shoulders like He did. Not to mention His shoulders were human shoulders. It did not mean He was weak, it means He knows pain. I am grateful for that.

When deep sorrow comes my way, I know that Jesus knows how I feel. I may not know the pain He endured but He certainly knows mine. When I cry out, “Lord, take this sorrow, this pain from me!” He knows how I feel. And you know what? It makes it a little bit easier to say, “Lord, it’s not what I want, but what You want”.  Just as He knew what was on the other side of His pain, He knows what is on the other side of ours.

In awe of Him,

Vonda

An Awesome, Terrible Thing

Joel 2:11 > “The LORD is at the head of the column. He leads them with a shout. This is His mighty army, and they follow His orders. The day of the LORD is an awesome, terrible thing. Who can possibly survive?” (NLT)

     

     What an interesting way to describe “the day of the Lord” as both awesome and terrible. To place these two words side by side seemed odd to me. It did not make sense to put them together, separated only by a comma. At least until I dug a little deeper. They had more in common than I thought.

     When I first looked at the word awesome, immediately I thought of something good. But then, the word terrible threw me off. Is not that the opposite of awesome? How can these two words possibly go together? Aren't they different? That is definitely a yes and no question. It never fails to surprise me at the placement of words in the Bible. Their placement has a reason. Maybe it is to cause us to dig a little deeper.

     Looking at the word awesome, I thought of something extremely good. Although it does mean that as too, there is still much more. We have thrown the word around so much and used it in ways that it has become much less than its true meaning. I heard someone say once “only God is awesome. The word should never be attached to another being or thing.” I admit that I have used the word very loosely, myself. I love my husband very much and there are days that I think he is pretty awesome! I think Greek Quesadilla’s are out of this world and I’ve claimed them to be pretty awesome, too! Although I may feel that way, and literally believe it, only God holds its truest meaning.

      When I looked further into the definition of awesome, I was startled. One definition used is - *causing feelings of fear and wonder*. Both are used at the same time! It is a feeling that is hard to describe and comprehend. Yet I know it exists because I have felt it. I felt it to my very core when in the presence of the Almighty. It was a feeling that almost took my breath away; one that I had never experienced before. Honestly, the days I said that my husband, as well as, Greek Quesadilla’s was pretty awesome, I never felt both fear and wonder. Wonder, yes, but not fear with it. I know the word for fear means - *a feeling of respect and wonder for something very powerful*. Only God is that powerful and I understand that. Nothing and no one holds a finger to Him.

     I suppose I’m a little weird. Not only am I a word person, I like to look at the list of synonyms that are included with it. With awesome was the word “awful”. I know what you’re thinking because I did, too. Awful to me meant something bad and awesome meant something good; they were totally opposite. How could they mean the same? Well, they both share one of the same definitions: *causing feelings of fear and wonder*. Who knew?? Both words had more in common than I thought. I had begun to understand a little more about the word ‘awesome’ and it was now time to move on to ‘terrible’. (I just love words!)

     The word terrible is defined as - *very shocking and upsetting*. Upsetting is defined as - *confusion*. You are not just shocked and upset, as well as confused; you are all of them! I do have to admit that I have felt these together before. As I am sure, most of us have and do. All you have to do is look at our world today. What the world considers okay is both shocking and upsetting. It is flat-out confusing! A person, no matter the age, is allowed to determine his/her own gender; a baby can be killed right after birth, and even before, if the mother so chooses …etc. More people should be shocked and upset! It’s confusing when they are not.

     The combination of these words used in the verse now has meaning. On the day of the Lord, there will be feelings of fear/respect and wonder of an all-powerful God. We will finally be able to see Him in all His glory; something that we cannot possibly do right now. I cannot imagine what that will be like. To behold the One that loved us enough to die for us. How truly awesome that will be! Yet, for some it will be a shocking and upsetting/confusing day. To finally be able to behold Him, believing that eternity with Him is inevitable, just to hear Him say, “I never knew you; depart from Me,” (Matt. 7:23 NLT). How incredibly terrible, completely devastating, that day will be for those. Who can possibly survive?

Looking at the meaning behind each word in question, I understand why “The day of the LORD is an awesome, terrible thing.”

In awe of Him,

Vonda

**Definitions are from Merriam-Webster Dictionary

Searching For Christ at Christmas

To get caught-up in the glitter of Christmas is easy, with all the decorations and lights. The new movies this year, along with some of the old ones, make for a wonderful lazy day or a “feel good” afternoon. It certainly does something to me. My heart feels lighter and full of joy. However, this year, well it is a little different. I still love the glitter of Christmas but something is missing.

The Hallmark movies, although enjoyable, are not capturing Christmas for me. I have found myself frantically looking for it. There is something, better yet, Someone, missing. It is Jesus. It is His story. Hallmark is full with stories of newfound love. What about the “old” (for lack of a better word) love? The one shown to us many years ago? Our hearts soar at the idea of two people finding their way to each other. What about a Father who sent His very own Son for all people simply because He loved them? Do our hearts soar for that? We find whimsical love stories more believable and enjoyable than one of a loving Father willing to give us His Best.

I settled down on the couch with a blanket in anticipation of a Hallmark afternoon. Or, so I thought. I needed to feel Christmas. Not just, see it. I was not looking for the “feel-good” aspect of it. I was looking to feel the real part of it. With my whole heart, I asked God to show me Christmas.  That is exactly what He wanted to do. Am I ready for it? Oh Lord, I hope so!  

Time had come for Mary’s baby to be born. This was her first baby, therefore, she had no idea what to expect. My guess is she felt somewhat frightened. (I know I did.) Had she heard stories from others of their experience? Did her mother tell her anything at all? Or, was she too ashamed of the pregnancy to prepare her? When Mary went to visit Elizabeth (who was “well along in years”) had they shared their concerns and fears of what the actual delivery would be like? Of course, Elizabeth was full of joy finally being pregnant, so perhaps she never thought of the actual giving birth. But, Mary? She had not even experienced a marital relationship, so she definitely did not know what to expect.  Fear had to be felt that night. How could it not be?

Had she imagined her baby would be born in a place like this? After all, the angel had told her, “He will be great and will be called the Son of the Most High” (Luke 1:32). She was not giving birth to simply a sweet new life; she was giving birth to the Son of the Most High, God. This changed everything. Perhaps her labor pains were intense enough that where she gave birth didn’t really matter.  The anticipation of finally holding this little life growing inside her had to be high. What color would his eyes be? What about the color of his hair? Better yet, what will the Son of God look like? Fear and anticipation held hands that night. Fear of the pain possibly ahead and anticipation of seeing the Christ child. Her heart was full!

I haven't seen any movies capturing this story, true story, at all. (Maybe I’m looking on the wrong channel.) The nativities displayed even seem to feel a little cold and distant, as if it were just a story that had never been true. Where is Christ this Christmas? I desperately wanted to know.

The wise men went looking for Him. “Where is He that is born King of the Jews” (Matthew 2:2). Because they were looking…they found Him! That is what I had to do. I had to search for Him. It was up to me to find Him this Christmas. Jeremiah 29:13 says, “You will seek Me and find Me when you search for Me with all your heart.”

Jesus was there all along. He had not left the scene of Christmas; I had overlooked Him. Now when I look at the lights (even with the colored ones) on my trees (yes, I have more than one), I imagine the stars in the sky that perfect night the Messiah was born. I think of Mary and the anticipation she must have felt waiting to hold this perfect life that had been growing inside her. I think of Joseph, wide-eyed in wonder of it all. I even think of the animals in the stable (what were they even thinking?). The angels surely anticipated seeing what the One who had lived with them in heaven would look like in flesh. Then I think of the Father. His plan for our redemption was just beginning on earth. The Way to Him was being born. How could I not think of those things?

It is up to us to look for Christ in Christmas...open your eyes because He is there!

In awe of Him,

Vonda