Plastered Eyes and Closed Minds

Isaiah 44:17-18> "From the rest he makes a god, his idol; he bows down to it and worships. He prays to it and says, 'Save me! You are my god!' They know nothing, they understand nothing; their eyes are plastered over so they cannot see, and their minds closed so they cannot understand."

 





 

     When conviction comes it doesn't care what time of day it is. It doesn't even care what you are doing. God knew it had to happen, so He sent conviction to draw me closer to Him. Along with conviction came repentance. It caught me totally off guard. I wasn't expecting it.

     For a while now I have been working on a "project". This project has been in my heart for many years. The courage to do this has not come easy. I backed off for quite a while until a stirring from deep within kept creeping up on me. I could no longer ignore it and push it back down deep inside me. So I prayed about it. God gave me the courage to pick up this project and move forward with it. What is it? Well, I am writing a book. It has been through this process that God has revealed things in me that need to change. There have been times that I did not praise Him like I should have. There have also been times that I never saw Him for who He really was/is. 

     The conviction that grabbed hold of my heart the other night was the realization that I had been worshipping something else other than God. I didn't even know I had done it and at times still doing it. I was depending on it. It seemed so innocent all those years until the other night. For years my eyes had been plastered to where I could not see the truth. My mind was closed to even knowing what was going on. I was clinging so tightly to a god. I depended on this god to make everything alright. It was giving me hope.

     In 1997 my husband was injured at work. He crushed his toes on his right foot. To this day, he still endures pain from that injury. He has had countless surgeries with the hope of it making a difference.

     I can't remember what year it was, but a doctor's appointment had been set up with an orthopedic group at UAB in Birmingham. We were told that professional athletes use this group of world renown doctor's and they were back on the field in no time. To make it sound even better, we were also told that Sheik's would come to this group. It sounded pretty impressive to us! If professional athletes can get back to normal and Sheik's could return home normal then surely Raymond could return back to the days before his injury! I mean, why not? It was working for the other folks so surely it would work for Raymond, too. Right? Well, it didn't work. The surgeries, the nerve blocks; they didn't work. I didn't necessarily seek God through all of that. I looked to the doctors to save Raymond, to rescue him from pain. Absolutely, God uses doctors. That was not the problem for me. It was the fact that I had looked to the doctors for healing and not to God. They had become my god. I can't speak for Raymond but I can certainly speak for myself.

     There was nothing else that group of doctors could do so Raymond was sent to a pain management doctor. Once again, I felt hope. And once again, it was hope in the wrong thing. This time it would be hope in a combination of medications. I knew better than to hope in that. I had grown up in church and taught to hope in God alone. So why was this happening? My eyes were plastered and my mind was closed. I could not see that I was putting my hope in the wrong thing. I was worshiping another god. And then when it didn't work, I blamed the real God.  

     Crazy, isn't it? How can you put your hope in something other than God and then blame Him for the results? Yet we do it all the time. My god had been the world renown doctors and the combination of medications. I had cried out to them, "Save us!" and they never did.

     For years I never saw that. For years my eyes were plastered. My mouth said "I trust You!" but my heart spoke something totally different. I didn't even know it. And then one night, a night so many years later, God sent conviction to draw me to repentance...

     Raymond still sees a pain management doctor, he still has surgery if his orthopedic doctor believes it will make a difference. This time it is not them that I worship. It's not the medications or the surgeries that I put my hope in. This time it is in God and Him alone that I trust. If God decides to use either of those things then great! If He doesn't, well, then it is still Him that I will put my hope in.

 

In awe of Him,

Vonda

 

***Heavenly Father, I thank You Lord for sending conviction to draw us closer to You. It is never Your desire to use conviction to harm us but to bring us into a closer walk with You. Thank you Lord that it is because you love us so much that You mold us to be more like You. Thank you for revealing the ugly, the sin, to draw us to repentance. Lord each time that I, that we, lean toward worshiping another god, having an idol, send conviction once again. In Your precious and holy Name ~ Amen

 

  



The Least Obvious Choice

Luke 19:5-6> When Jesus reached the spot, He looked up and said to him,"Zacchaeus, come down immediately. I must stay at your house today." So he came down at once and welcomed Him gladly.

     Zacchaeus was a chief tax collector and very wealthy. He was in charge of a district and had other tax collectors under him. He wasn't liked very much at all, nor was he thought of very highly. I can't help but imagine that he was a bit haughty with his wealth to make up for his size. Zacchaeus was a rich man but he was also a short man. (I wonder if that bugged him at all?)
     Jesus was passing through Jericho and Zacchaeus heard about it. There were so many people there that Zacchaeus couldn't see over the crowd. After all, he was a short man. I'm guessing that his curiosity was getting to him and he just had to get a peek of who Jesus was. At that moment, all of his wealth could not buy him a front row seat! He was going to have to fend for himself; figure it out! Nudging through the crowd didn't seem to make a difference at all. I would imagine that at this point he's a little aggravated. He's feeling a little desperate by now. He then gets the idea that he was going to have to get above the crowd.
     He ran ahead and climbed up into a sycamore tree. Jesus was coming that way and he would surely get to see Him! Zaccheus wasn't thinking about how he was going to look running and then sitting up in a tree. He just wanted to be able to see Jesus. He just had to see Jesus!! Ever felt that desperate? Yep, me, too. A panic attack would just about set in! And then...a sigh of relief...an extra beat of the heart...and a stirring from deep within. There He is! It's Jesus!! The crowd is still following but this time Zacchaeus can see him! He can really see Him good! His hair, His skin, His eyes...He's here...He's finally here.
     Zacchaeus' eyes are fixed on Jesus. His every move. Now He's standing right below him. Zacchaeus catches his breath as Jesus looks up at him. This is probably the first time ever in his life that someone looks up at him! And of all people it's the Saviour of the world! Oh how special Zacchaeus must've felt. At that moment I'm sure he must have felt ten feet tall! (Jesus has that unique way of making anyone feel special. No matter what their background may be.)
     And then Jesus does the most wonderful thing! Right there in front of everyone!! He invites Himself over to Zacchaeus' home. Don't you know he had the biggest grin on his face? Don't you think he probably held on to the tree just a little tighter so he wouldn't fall out of it as he realized what Jesus said? "Who, me? My house? You want to come to my house? Heck yea!! Come on!!" Zacchaeus hops on out of the tree and welcomes Jesus gladly!
     The crowd that was there was filled with different kinds of people. People who would've been a much better choice for Jesus to go home with. Jesus had always made it clear that He was here to do His Father's will. He was on a mission and that very day Zacchaeus was part of His mission! The least obvious choice............

In awe of Him,
Vonda

***Heavenly Father, oh how I praise You for the least obvious choice. Thank You Lord that Your heart is filled with such compassion and love for the one's that the world looks at in such a different way. It is through Your eyes that we feel special and dearly loved. Lord, I thank You that You want to come home with us and spend time with us. Even in a crowd of better choices, Lord, I thank You for choosing the least obvious choice. It is in the precious Name of Jesus that I pray ~ Amen 
     

A Lot Like Peter

I really like Peter!! Probably because I can relate to him in so many ways! He always meant well and yet he fell short. His heart seemed to be in the right place, until he panicked.

 Matthew 26:30-75

      Jesus and the disciples had just finished the Last Supper and they sang a hymn. (Never saw that before! They all sang! Neat!) Then "they went out to the Mount of Olives".
Jesus told them "you will all fall away on account of Me" . Peter denied it! "Even if all fall away on account of You, I never will". Jesus knew better. He knew what Peter was going to do. "This very night, before the rooster crows, you will disown Me three times." Peter so boldly states, "Even if I have to die with You, I will never disown You.
      Oh yes, indeed, Peter meant well. He was among the three disciples that Jesus took with Him while in Gethsemane to pray. "My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with Me." Jesus needed them to be alert with Him. When He returned, He found Peter and the other two asleep. Poor Peter, he couldn't hold his eyes opened! He had stated earlier that "even if all fall away on account of You, I never will." Yet he couldn't keep his eyes opened. Jesus needed him and he fell asleep. (Ouch!!) A second time rolls around and once again Jesus finds Peter asleep. The third time Jesus returns He awakens the three again. This time He tells them "the hour has come, and the Son of Man is delivered into the hands of sinners. Rise! Here comes My betrayer!" Now that ought to wake you up pretty quickly!
     Jesus was betrayed with a kiss and was arrested. "Then all the disciples deserted Him and fled." When He was taken to where Caiaphas and the teachers of the law and elders assembled, Peter followed at a distance. He "sat down with the guards to see the outcome." After Jesus announced "from now on you will see the Son of Man sitting at the right hand of the Mighty One and coming on the clouds of heaven", that stirred up a big stink! Caiaphas tore his clothes and protested that Jesus spoke blasphemy! It did not sit well with the group that were there. Jesus was spit on, slapped and struck with their fists. Peter witnesses all of this. The very one who said, "I will never disown You", watches the cruelty.
      A servant girl recognizes Peter and says, "You were with Jesus of Galilee." "I don't know what you are talking about", he responds. He managed to get out of that one. He didn't have to own up to knowing Jesus and even hanging out with Him. Once outside the gateway, another servant sees him and says, "This fellow was with Jesus of Nazareth." This time Peter doesn't just deny knowing Jesus, he does it with an oath. But the third denial, "he began to call down curses, and he swore to them, 'I don't know the man!" And then a rooster crowed. Jesus had told him that this would happen. Peter didn't believe Him. He never thought it possible that he would deny his Savior. "And he went outside and wept bitterly." Peter panicked.
      I have felt just like Peter. "I will never deny You, Lord." And then it happens. I do. Ever so subtle at first. For me it came in the disguise of wanting to fit in and not being made fun of. (By the way, it can even happen among 'professing' believers.)I knew exactly what God required of me and I acted like I didn't have a clue. For me, that was a form of denying Him. But God (I love those 2 words!), gave me another opportunity to take a stand. Peter got a second chance to stand up and say, "Yes, I know Him!", but he blew it. So did I. When we are caught in a lie (like Peter's not knowing Jesus) we tend to get a little bit stronger with our denial's. Once again, God graciously gives Peter yet another chance. His denial got even stronger. "He began to call down curses and he swore." Ashamedly, I have done that, too. And yes, I have found myself weeping bitterly.
      I never intended to deny God what He was asking me to do. I totally intended to stand up and say, "Yes, I know Him and He has asked me to take a stand!" Sometimes where God leads us can be lonely. To avoid that we tend to deny Him. We never think that it could even be possible, but it is. We panic. We find ourselves filled with such regret and guilt. The pain of knowing what we have just done, denied our Savior, is so overwhelming. I panicked.
      Then along comes Mark 16:6-7> "Don't be alarmed," he said. "You are looking for Jesus the Nazarene, who was crucified. He has risen! He is not here. See the place where they laid Him. But go, tell His disciples and Peter, 'He is going ahead of you into Galilee. There you will see Him just as He told you.' "
      Don't you just love "and Peter"? Good news, wonderful news was about to be told and it was very important that Peter knew! His name being added was specific! Intentional!! Why? After all, Peter did deny Jesus three times. Why would his name be so specific? That's easy. Jesus knew Peter's heart. He knew Peter was going to deny Him three times. He knew that each of his denial's would be stronger than the first. The very disciple who said, "I will never deny you", did. One thing is for sure, Peter didn't do it again. Three times was too much and he wouldn't make that mistake again! He even dies for Jesus later on.
      Peter ended up keeping his word. It just took four tries. The first three were disastrous! The last time he truly was willing to die for Him. It gives me such hope. In my denials of the Lord and what He has asked me to do, there is still hope that I, too, will get it right! That I, too, will take that stand! That I, too, will not panic!
     

Heavenly Father, I just want to thank You for knowing me so well. You know my heart. Thank You Lord for giving me those chances to stand up and say, "Yes, I know Him." Even though I have failed so miserably in the beginning, and still throughout at times, thank You for not giving up on me. Lord, when I am tempted to deny You, give me the courage to stand tall. It is in the precious Name of Jesus that I pray, Amen.
     

The Spirit of Half-Heartedness

Half-hearted. Unfortunately it is a word that I am very familiar with. Webster's New World Dictionary describes half-hearted as with little enthusiasm, determination, interest, etc.

Ouch!! That definition at times, has described me well. I've used it in my personal life. I've used it at my job. I've used it in my marriage. And I've even used it in my spiritual life. "I'll do just enough to make it look like I'm trying! I won't do my very best." I would just about guarantee that I am not the only one who has said that and even done that, as well. Well, I know I'm not. The Bible is full of the same scenarios. And even why they don't work!! However, I've only chosen one of them.

(NIV) Genesis 4:1-5 > Adam made love to his wife Eve, and she became pregnant and gave birth to Cain. She said, "With the help of the Lord I have brought forth a man." Later she gave birth to his brother Abel. Now Abel kept flocks, and Cain worked the soil. In the course of time Cain brought some of the fruits of the soil as an offering to the Lord. And Abel also brought an offering - fat portions from some of the firstborn of his flock. The Lord looked with favor on Abel and his offering, but on Cain and his offering He did not look with favor. So Cain was very angry, and his face was downcast.

Poor Cain. He made it seem like he was being picked on by God. It least that was my first impression. With a little digging, I found out the real story. It all starts with the word brought.

Abel brought to God his best. He "brought fat portions from some of the firstborn of his flock". Cain "brought some of the fruits of the soil". Do you see the difference? Abel brought some of the firstborn, whereas Cain brought some of the fruits.  Abel had a lot of thought and heart in his offering. He was giving God his very best. Cain had a lot of thought in his offering, as well. His thought process was half-hearted. Just enough to possibly call it an attempt; yet not enough to call it an offering. Oh yes indeed, I've been there. We all have.

Out of all the half-hearted attempts that I have done, the one that I'm leaning toward is in my spiritual walk. God knew that my attempts were half-hearted. He knew I wasn't fooling Him. Deep down I knew it, too, but everyone else didn't. So I kept bringing some. As long as it appeared to others that I was real then I was covered. Right? Not by a long shot. God knew my heart. He saw the corruptness in it. He saw the Pharisee that I thought was covered up.

My heart started changing. (I wonder Who was responsible for that?) The more that I got up early in the mornings for my quiet time with God; the more He started changing me. It was becoming obvious on the outside what was happening on the inside. God's Word started to truly breathe. I could feel it. I knew I was no longer alone in my quiet time. The more I prayed, "Lord, open my eyes, my ears and my heart, so that I might not ever be the same", He was hearing me. He heard me every time, but this time He was waiting for it to be real. And this time what I was bringing to Him was "some of the firstborn". I was no longer bringing to Him "some of the fruits". It mattered; it really mattered. I had approached my alone time with God on a schedule. He was only allowed to "move" if I had time. (I could really say a lot about His moving, however, I'll save that for another blog.)

Some of my favorite, and my not so favorite (can I really say that?) people were being blessed and used by God all around me. I felt stagnant. I talked a good talk but that's all it was--talk. I knew something was missing in me. It was what I was bringing to God. The spirit of half-heartedness had become acceptable, comfortable and safe. Satan loves half-hearted attitudes and actions. That's the beginning of a playground for him!! The things he can build with that is immeasurable! Some playgrounds are not meant to exist. That's one of them. The best tool to use in destroying that particular playground is repentance. That's exactly what I knew I had to do.

You know, Cain's half-hearted attempt and what He brought to God didn't work out very well for him. Sure, he got his feelings hurt and he was downcast and all. But, God gave him a chance to get it right; to check his heart and repent. Genesis 4:6-7 > Then the Lord said to Cain, "Why are you angry? Why is your face downcast? If you do what is right, will you not be accepted? But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but you must rule over it." God has given each of us an opportunity to do the right thing. When we attempt to do things our way, it's always going to be half-hearted. But when we are spirit led, that's whole-hearted, we will do things His way. Satan wants us, make no mistake of that! Being led by the spirit of whole-heartedness we will rule over it. Being led by the  spirit of half-heartedness, well, we won't stand a chance!

What did Cain do after God talked to him? He continued his walk in half-heartedness and killed his brother. All because he didn't bring to God his very best and then got mad because it was not accepted.........

Heavenly Father, how I praise You for being fair and just. Thank you Lord for loving me enough to not accept my half-hearted attempts. Thank You Lord for wanting, desiring, my very best. When the spirit of half-heartedness creeps in, Lord, I ask that You convict my heart and allow me to repent. It is in the precious Name of Jesus, that I pray.........Amen

The Pharisee In Me

     Matthew 23:27-28 > "Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You are like whitewashed tombs, which look beautiful on the outside but on the inside are full of dead men's bones and everything unclean. In the same way, on the outside you appear to people as righteous but on the inside you are full of hypocrisy and wickedness."

    The older I get, the better my hind-sight becomes. I was one of those people that Jesus had warned "us" about. Only then I didn't know it. I was too busy pointing and patting. I pointed my finger at those who paraded their sins out there for everyone to see. I patted my own shoulder because I didn't have any to parade. Today, I see the hypocrisy in that very comment. But then? I viewed sin as the stuff on the outside. I was blind to the stuff on the inside being labeled as sin.
     After many years (I'm talking 34 of them!), an old friend came back into my life. Who would have ever thought that a social media outlet would do that? Anyhow, she was afraid to approach me. Oh how ashamed I am because of that. The sad thing was, I couldn't imagine why. My brother had told her that I was not the same person anymore. I guess I had forgotten who that person was. And the truth is, I had forgotten. I just remembered us as being the best of friends as mid-teens. I couldn't remember anything else. Satan is good that way. He likes to keep us in the dark. But God had other plans. (I love to say that: But God.)
     Della and I were the best of friends! We laughed a lot and shared a lot. It least, I thought we had. We definitely laughed a lot, but unfortunately, only so much was really shared. She had been stuck in a life that I knew nothing about. She was protecting herself. Even as a young teenager, her life was full of darkness. It was something she would never share with me. Not then, that is, but definitely now! New creatures! That's what happens when God intervenes. She has a story! She has a story that is filled with God's mercy, His grace, and His healing power! She remembers the date that He set her free!
     After a few years, she had tried to get in touch with me again. A phone call, a simple phone call and I blew it. "I think it's best that we part ways", or something to that effect is what I said. She had made a tough decision for her life and I ...I thought ...I thought that ... I thought that I was somehow better than her. It saddens my heart that I could have ever felt that way. I don't remember the conversation (that's those blinders that Satan loves to use!) but she does. That was the last memory she had of our friendship. I had been so busy looking righteous on the outside when all along the inside of me was full of dead men's bones and everything unclean. And for years, I would continue to live that way.
     But God had other plans! Through social media we would find each other again. This time as "new" people. That's what God does. He takes the old and ugly and then shapes it into something new and beautiful! HE is certainly not finished with me; there is still so much to do. I praise Him for revealing the Pharisee in me so that I could, and would, come to the place of repentance. With true repentance comes freedom. It wasn't easy to allow God to reveal that in me. He knew just when to do it. Oh how His timing is perfect!! Any other time I might not would have allowed such revealing. It hurts. The process is so painful and yet so needed. God knew that I was ready; He knew that I would truly repent. Oh how I praise Him!!
     On February 14, 2015, Della Garrett Sims will become Della Garrett Sims Coleman. She will be my sister-in-law. My brother is gaining a godly wife and I am gaining another godly sister. I am blessed. God knew that it was going to take approximately 33-34 years for us to "marinate". (Not to mention, He knew it was going to take Greg that long to marinate, too!) A whole lot of life has happened in-between that time. None of it was a surprise to God.
    
     Heavenly Father, oh how I praise You!! You are good. Your timing is perfect. I thank You Lord for the Pharisee. It is in the Pharisee that you revealed the ugly in me. Thank You Lord for not giving up on me. Thank You for pursuing me with fervor. Your love is relentless. Lord I ask that You never stop revealing the sin that I keep guarded in my heart. Help me to never point a finger or pat myself on the shoulder. Help me to never look at myself at being better than others. And Lord, when I do, convict my heart so that I can repent. Thank You Lord for Your grace and mercy. Thank You Lord for new beginnings.
     In the precious and holy name of Jesus ~ Amen 
     
    
    
    

A boat, a storm, and a sleeping Jesus.

Matthew 8:23-25> Then He got into the boat and His disciples followed Him. Suddenly a furious storm came up on the lake, so that the waves swept over the boat. But Jesus was sleeping. The disciples went and woke Him, saying, "Lord, save us! We are going to drown!"

     Have you ever been there? Have you ever been in a "storm" so fierce that you have no idea if you will survive or not? As long as we are on this earth, we will have storms. Some of them will be huge. We will even wonder if God cares. "Are you there Lord? Don't You care?"
     There have been many times that I have cried those very words. Until now. What's the difference? This time, I KNOW He's in it with me!
     Jesus got into the boat first. Then the disciples followed Him. He knew there was going to be a storm. The disciples didn't, but Jesus did. It was probably smooth sailing at first. Calm seas and a destination in mind. There were no worries. Until now.
     "Suddenly a furious storm came up on the lake, so that the waves swept over the boat." Can't you just imagine how afraid the disciples were? 'Where did this come from?', they had to have asked. Life can go along smoothly. And then suddenly, out of nowhere, a storm can hit! You never see it coming! But Jesus does. He already knows the outcome of the storm. That's why it was so easy for Him to have been sleeping. He knew what was going to happen in the storm.
     "The disciples went and woke Him, saying, 'Lord, save us! We are going to drown!'" Had they really forgotten what they had already seen Him do? Hadn't they witnessed first hand the miracles that He had done? Did they really believe that He would not save them from the storm? Sounds like us, doesn't it?
     What the disciples really failed to see was that Jesus was still in the boat. He didn't jump out. He may have been asleep, but He was still in the boat. They had hope and didn't even realize it. Jesus was in the storm with them. He stayed. Could it be because He knew something that they did not? Did they forget who He was? Wow, don't we do that, too?
     No matter what kind of storm we go through, we will not be alone. Being a child of God (that's something that has to be done personally) assures us that He is on the boat with us. The waves may sweep over us and toss us around, but we won't be alone. We may even find Jesus sleeping (or think He is), but He is still in control. Just knowing that He's on the boat with us should be comforting enough.
     That is the difference for me. I am His child and therefore I know that He is with me. Even in furious storms. On occasion, He still has to ask me, "why are you so afraid?" And then He calms the winds and the waves. Just like the disciples in verse 27, I find myself in awe; "What kind of man is this? Even the winds and the waves obey Him."
     How comforting to know that in the midst of the storm, Jesus is still with me. He doesn't jump out and leave me on my own. If the One who is in control can sleep through it, then why am I so afraid? Could it be that He knows something that I don't know??? Absolutely!! He knows the outcome!
 
     Dear Lord Jesus, I stand in awe of You. Even when the storm seems to be so much more than I can handle, You are still there. When the waves are high and the wind is strong, You are in control. Lord, help me to rest in the knowledge of knowing that through the storm there is still a lesson. Thank You Father for not abandoning me. Thank You Lord for being with me through it. In Your precious and holy name, Amen.
    
   

Valuable to God

     It has definitely been a while since I have sat in front of my computer to blog. Writing is one of my favorite things to do. When my heart is heavy and my mind is full all I can think of is to write.
    
     One of the social medias that first grabbed my attention was facebook. It was there that I had planned to share Christ. All I wanted to do was to use it as a witnessing tool. At first, it was great. I felt so free to lay it all out there!! "Jesus loves you" was all I could think to share.
     Before I knew it, the wonderful intention ended. It became filled with such sadness for me on a personal level. I found myself looking at happy photos and reading funny comments. The one's that called themselves "church family" seemed to only interact with certain individuals. I was not among the certain individuals. "Why? What is so wrong with me?"
     Man's affirmation has always seemed to be an issue for me. One that I have longed to break free from. As a child, I was not who I wanted to be. Being among the most popular I thought would give me some kind of status at school. It would mean I was "chosen" to be good enough to be seen with. It would mean that I really was important! Before I could even recognize what was happening, I began to search for the same thing in church.
     Let's face it, there are "clicks" in church. I don't think people set out to have them there, they just seem to show up. I found myself sitting in my same spot watching people. It's not that I necessarily meant to just watch them, it's just that I was alone. I was surrounded by "church family" and yet was alone. "Why? What is so wrong with me?" I had longed to be a vital part of this particular group. I had longed to be "chosen" by them to even be worthy enough to be engaged in conversation before church started. And yet, there I sat...alone. I had wanted to be...important. On the inside I was in torment. I felt so abandoned. "How did this happen? Isn't this suppose to be God's house? Isn't church suppose to be "All About Jesus"? What went wrong?
     I never thought I would be stuck in those horrible high school days of wanting to fit in again. Not in my adult life!! Yet, that is exactly where I found myself. And in church, of all places. I would reach out in desperation just to be recognized. "Hey, she might have something to say!" Oh how I wanted someone, anyone, to say that of me. Why did it have to matter so much to me? Why was it so important to feel accepted by a particular body of people?
     The more I have allowed it to creep back up in my life, the more power I have given Satan. The more I entertain the hurt of not being accepted among certain one's, the more freedom I have given Satan. I cannot do that! I cannot fall captive to his lies of just what my value is.
     Galatians 1:10 in the NIV says. "Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ." Those proved to be very strong words for me. Who am I trying to please? Who am I trying to be accepted by? Who is it that I am wanting to choose me? People? Really!!??
     Hundreds of years ago, an incredible Man walked on this earth. It had been said of Him, "the straps of whose sandals I am not worthy to untie." Sandals, something that is covered in dirt. Dirt!! And yet no one was worthy enough to even untie the straps. There had not been, nor would there ever be, anyone like Him. He was the Son of Man. And yet He was more importantly the Son Of God.  You really can't get more important than being the Son of God. Before the foundations of the earth were ever laid, He knew me. He wasn't flashy, He wasn't popular, He wasn't in a click and yet He was, and is, the most important Person that ever walked on the face of the earth. This is where I get all choked up....He chose me. I didn't choose Him; He chose me. When it seemed like no one else would choose me, He did.
    
    
     Thank You, Lord Jesus, for choosing me. Thank You for seeing me in a crowd of people who seemed to have so much more to offer You than I ever could. Lord, help me to always remember that it was not me who chose You; but it was You who chose me. I have nothing of value or importance to offer You, Lord Jesus, only myself freely. Thank You Lord for considering me valuable to You. ~Amen