Recently, I've been asked the question, "What made you decide to choose this walk in life?" The question was not meant to ask why I chose to accept Christ or to why I chose to live a Christian life. It was asked because of how I chose to live my Christian life. It really got me to thinking.
Ephesians 1:4-5 says, "Even before He made the world, God loved us and chose us in Christ to be holy and without fault in His eyes. God decided in advance to adopt us into His own family by bringing us to Himself through Jesus Christ. This is what He wanted to do and it gave Him great pleasure."
For years I thought that I had been the one to do the choosing. But I wasn't. I thought I had been the one to make the decision, but it wasn't me. I can never take the credit. Now that I understand that truth, I am truly humbled. God chose me!! Why in the world He did that, I will never know!!
According to Bethel Baptist Church in November 2010, Charles Spurgeon was said to have commented once, "God must have certainly chosen me before I came into this world because He never would have chosen me afterward." A lot of us can relate to that feeling. I know I certainly can. God saw something in me, well He knew something about me, that He wanted to use. He saw it long before the foundation of the earth was laid. That is pretty mind-boggling!
I was pretty comfortable living my "safe" Christian life. I knew God was real. He'd revealed it to me many times. I knew He could do anything He wanted to do. But my mentality of Him was in a box. I didn't really know that God did NOT live in a box that I had mentally put Him in. My belief in Him was safe. I suppose that I limited Him to what I wanted Him to do. I loved the stories in the Bible of what He could do. The impossible stuff that we could not explain if we tried! However, that's where He stayed...in the Bible. In a way, the Bible was like a box. They weren't just stories. They were real situations with real people. I knew that, or so I thought.
I do not remember the date. Not even the time of year. I just remember the encounter. I had been reading about people finding that very special place of prayer. For some, it was a closet. For others it had been a particular chair. There were all kinds of places and things that had been mentioned. Well, I wanted a place that would be special. The master bathroom in our home is spacious. So I had this brilliant idea of going into the master bathroom and finding a special "spot". I found the spot where I felt pretty comfortable and so I knelt. With my hands lifted up I began to pray. What happened next I had never expected. God was there! He was in the room with me. The Holy Spirit was hovering all around me. It felt just like the pictures you might see of a mist of a ghost flying around! I couldn't breathe. I held my breath and was so afraid to open my eyes. What would I see? I had entered into prayer, but my heart was certainly not seeking God, nor the Holy Spirit, not like that! I was about to experience something very real. Something far beyond an explanation. Because of fear, I wasn't ready. I wasn't ready to experience God like that. I wasn't ready to take Him out of my mental box! Everything was safe as long as I was in control. As long as I was the one who let Him out. I continued to hold my breath until the feeling went away. Until God went away. For a very long time I thought I had quenched the Spirit. Here it is four years later and I now understand that particular night. God already knew how I would react. It was no surprise to Him. He knew that one day I would long for that encounter once again. I cannot go back to that particular night. However, I can go forward with pure hunger and desire for Him!! That night, God revealed to me just how real He really was. How real He really IS!! For me, to believe that that encounter was God means I have to believe in the impossible, the unexplainable. I have to walk a walk that He wants me to walk!! I have to walk by faith and not by sight (2 Cor. 5:7). God chose me to walk this path in my life. He chose me specifically, long before the foundation of the world. This is definitely a walk I am not use to. I will really have to believe Him. Not just in Him, but Him!! When He tells me I can move a mountain, I have to believe Him. When He tells me that I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me, then I have to believe Him!! To live that kind of life, I can no longer place Him in a box. He has to be free!! Free to show me exactly why He chose me.....
Ephesians 1:4-5 says, "Even before He made the world, God loved us and chose us in Christ to be holy and without fault in His eyes. God decided in advance to adopt us into His own family by bringing us to Himself through Jesus Christ. This is what He wanted to do and it gave Him great pleasure."
For years I thought that I had been the one to do the choosing. But I wasn't. I thought I had been the one to make the decision, but it wasn't me. I can never take the credit. Now that I understand that truth, I am truly humbled. God chose me!! Why in the world He did that, I will never know!!
According to Bethel Baptist Church in November 2010, Charles Spurgeon was said to have commented once, "God must have certainly chosen me before I came into this world because He never would have chosen me afterward." A lot of us can relate to that feeling. I know I certainly can. God saw something in me, well He knew something about me, that He wanted to use. He saw it long before the foundation of the earth was laid. That is pretty mind-boggling!
I was pretty comfortable living my "safe" Christian life. I knew God was real. He'd revealed it to me many times. I knew He could do anything He wanted to do. But my mentality of Him was in a box. I didn't really know that God did NOT live in a box that I had mentally put Him in. My belief in Him was safe. I suppose that I limited Him to what I wanted Him to do. I loved the stories in the Bible of what He could do. The impossible stuff that we could not explain if we tried! However, that's where He stayed...in the Bible. In a way, the Bible was like a box. They weren't just stories. They were real situations with real people. I knew that, or so I thought.
I do not remember the date. Not even the time of year. I just remember the encounter. I had been reading about people finding that very special place of prayer. For some, it was a closet. For others it had been a particular chair. There were all kinds of places and things that had been mentioned. Well, I wanted a place that would be special. The master bathroom in our home is spacious. So I had this brilliant idea of going into the master bathroom and finding a special "spot". I found the spot where I felt pretty comfortable and so I knelt. With my hands lifted up I began to pray. What happened next I had never expected. God was there! He was in the room with me. The Holy Spirit was hovering all around me. It felt just like the pictures you might see of a mist of a ghost flying around! I couldn't breathe. I held my breath and was so afraid to open my eyes. What would I see? I had entered into prayer, but my heart was certainly not seeking God, nor the Holy Spirit, not like that! I was about to experience something very real. Something far beyond an explanation. Because of fear, I wasn't ready. I wasn't ready to experience God like that. I wasn't ready to take Him out of my mental box! Everything was safe as long as I was in control. As long as I was the one who let Him out. I continued to hold my breath until the feeling went away. Until God went away. For a very long time I thought I had quenched the Spirit. Here it is four years later and I now understand that particular night. God already knew how I would react. It was no surprise to Him. He knew that one day I would long for that encounter once again. I cannot go back to that particular night. However, I can go forward with pure hunger and desire for Him!! That night, God revealed to me just how real He really was. How real He really IS!! For me, to believe that that encounter was God means I have to believe in the impossible, the unexplainable. I have to walk a walk that He wants me to walk!! I have to walk by faith and not by sight (2 Cor. 5:7). God chose me to walk this path in my life. He chose me specifically, long before the foundation of the world. This is definitely a walk I am not use to. I will really have to believe Him. Not just in Him, but Him!! When He tells me I can move a mountain, I have to believe Him. When He tells me that I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me, then I have to believe Him!! To live that kind of life, I can no longer place Him in a box. He has to be free!! Free to show me exactly why He chose me.....
In awe of Him,
Vonda
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