Matthew 23:27> “Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees,
hypocrites! For you are like whitewashed tombs, which outwardly appear
beautiful, but within are full of dead people’s bones and all uncleanness.”
(ESV)
Whitewashed tombs. Those words caused me to sit straight up in bed. No longer could I lay there. No longer could I hope for sleep. Those words haunted me; they were meant to be a warning. I had been treading on dangerous ground.
I had no idea that I was fast
becoming that Pharisee that Jesus was talking about. Somehow, I had gotten way
to comfortable “in” my surroundings. They knew where I stood and how I stood.
And then they saw my behavior become different.
It was subtle. I didn’t just boldly
jump over the fence. I took baby steps that were unnoticed. Or, at least, I
thought they were. There had been a small stirring inside me that kept saying, “Don’t
go there.” I just didn’t heed the warning. I thought it was harmless.
Isn’t it funny (in a not-so-funny
way) how we can stand boldly and profess Christ to some yet join in
conversation with others that do not reflect what we profess? To say the very
least it’s a double standard. It’s confusing to the world, to those watching
us. (And
they are watching us!) It grieves the Lord.
I watched a movie the other night
that stuck with me throughout the night. There had been no sleep for me! I
tossed and turned thinking about it. A young soldier who had come home from the
war could not get his life together. He’d seen more than he had ever wanted to
see. He couldn’t re-enter his life with his wife and child. This young soldier
was mentally trapped. Misery was his friend. He became homeless and lived in
his own war. Those around him saw a young man who should be celebrating to
finally be home with his family. Until they saw that he couldn’t see what they
saw. On the inside he was full of dead men’s bones. There was no life.
Although he saw a war around him, I’d
lost sight of what was around me. He was trying to stay alive; and in a strange
way, I guess I was, too. The common ground between us was neither of us saw
what was really there. I know it was just a movie (although many who return
from war do experience the same thing) but it truly stirred something inside me.
I’d lost sight of my purpose as a follower of Jesus Christ. We are here to
glorify the Lord. We are here to point a dying world to a living Savior. And I
was failing.
My outward appearance seemed to
match what my mouth professed to some. But on the inside, well that was a
different story. What had been so vibrantly alive in me was dying. The boldness
I once had was dwindling away. Compromise was setting in and was beginning to
take over. Just how much could those closest to me see? I don’t know. I do know
they saw some. And even that was too much.
Living for the Lord can be easy
some days. Other days it can be a war! You know, one of those ‘sneak-attack’
kind. Where the enemy has sneaked in and attacked from the inside. Those tend
to get me every time.
I’m so grateful that the Holy
Spirit stirs a warning inside me. I’m so grateful that the Lord disciplines
those He loves (Hebrews 12:6)…
In awe of Him,
Vonda
